Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Crash and Burn

I seem to hit a point of no return with the excitement that I am creating in my mind ... then ... poof! It hits me. I crash.

Last night all I had to do was mow the lawn. I used to (just about) run when I was pushing that lawn mower because I was squeezing the task in between (what felt like) a bazillion other 'must do' things in my life. Last night, the job felt endless. I felt like I was moving at the rate of my very laid back, relaxed and retired neighbor (and what's really wrong with that??).

A shower is a need after that job - I came in feeling like I was covered with a layer of dust. So by the time I got cleaned up, I was powering down.

The night took care of itself - I ended up talking to 3 people on the phone but my enthusiasm level was fading and I didn't feel like very exciting or uplifting company.

Then ... I look at all the chances I am taking with myself in 'putting myself out there' (too much???). I seem to be in everyone's faces with my new idea about this or that ... and trying to draw people into my excitement as well. It's a risk. Something I would not have done, not so very long ago. And for the most part it seems like this feeling is contagious (I think that is why the sensation has gone on for so long for me).

The 'crash and burn' must be part of the creative process. I seemed to have one day a week where the wind was knocked out of my sails when I was in the middle of the Book Process. And I always bounced back. I'm hoping today is a 'bounce back' kind of day. I'm ready to feel excited and passionate about my life ... every day!!

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