Saturday, May 31, 2008

Is it Excitement or Anxiety?

Some friends and I have an overnight trip planned for tonight. We are headed out directly after I finish work today. I woke up with thoughts of this little adventure in my mind. My heart is racing and I feel anxious.

I am such a homebody that it isn't funny. I absolutely love the comfort I get from being home, coming home, having friends join me at my home, tending to my home, sleeping in my home ... You get the idea?

For me to step away from my home is tough. I enjoy it once I get used to the idea, but the day preceding such an event causes a lot of anxiety for me.

Leaving My Youngest behind is also another guilt factor. I have no desire to wish the years away, but it will be an entirely different scenario when he is a self supporting adult and I'm not leaving a dependent behind.

My family realizes this and so when my sisters and I get together for our sister-suppers &/or sleepovers, they come to me. I laughed when I said that it would be another ?? years before I could be the one that comes to them without any kids in tow. I will probably be around 55 or older and my sisters will be 64 and 66 before I can step away from my 'world' without a worry in my mind.

Does life begin at 55?? Heavens no!! That is why I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone and getting away with friends for a day. One day. We managed to get away for 12 hours out of a day last fall. This time, it will be over 24 hours.

I know it will be absolutely wonderful, once I step out of my life here and find myself on the highway in the company of good friends.

This precise moment of my morning ... anxiety is coarsing through my body. 9 short hours from now, it will be excitement.

Excitement ... what a wonderful way to savor a day!

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