Over the course of the past 3 days, I had a chance to just 'be' ... with each of my sons.
An impromptu lunch on Friday with Middle Son was just the tonic I needed to get through a day of working-at-home. I'm so frustrated and overwhelmed that I could cry. I was hungry to boot. So on a whim, I picked up the phone and called Second Son. It just so happened that he had stopped for a lunch break and was 5 minutes away at the time. I vented, we ate, we visited. It was exactly what I needed. I came home and worked with a vengeance that I didn't have before I stopped. Fueled with food and a good one-on-one visit with my son, I was raring to go again.
Friday night with Kurt was idyllic. Time to just wander through life and 'kill time' ... together. We haven't had many moments like this lately. It grounded both of us again. Living with me when I am overwhelmed is not an enjoyable place to be. So having time to just stop and smell the roses (or walk through a mall) was perfect.
Last night, Number 1 son came for supper. He walked in the door with a smile. A smile that I haven't seen for a while. We had a good chance to visit, enjoy the happiness that he was feeling, talk a little deeper ... and talk about some of the 'roller coaster' stuff that is his life right now. This is all new for us. We missed 'knowing each other' while he was growing up. This is small ... but it is big. We are talking a lot now. I can't undo the past. But we can go forward from here.
As I turned off the lights around the house last night and reflected on the weekend, I didn't even think about the overwhelming moments of 'work'. I thought about my family. I have a good life. I have my little family at arms reach.
At one point in our conversation last night, the question "What is love?" was posed. At the end of the weekend, my heart was full to overflowing. Completely and totally fulfilled with memories of my weekend and my 3 sons. And I thought "This is love ..."
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