Saturday, December 26, 2009

Who's Your Mother?

I really, really struggled with gift ideas this year.

It seems that most people buy what they want or need, so there are few perfectly practical gifts any more. What happened to the days where socks and gloves were the perfect thing to toss into a gift? Practical.

There are two ends to the 'money spectrum'. Either a person has more than enough money and can (and does) buy everything they want. Or else a person is so far in debt, that any gift of cash evaporates into the abyss of debt and easy spending.

Gifting a small cash token to either one of these extremes seems futile. But I still try ...

I asked my Second Son for gift ideas for his older brother. He has very particular tastes and to try to find something that wouldn't automatically get tossed into a pile and forgotten, seemed impossible. After some thought, he suggested that I bake some of My Oldest's favorite cookies and treats. Now this is the ultimate sacrifice for me. I am not a baker. I can do it, and if I'm in the right frame of mind things usually turn out. But if I'm in a sour mood, watch out!!

I was in a fine mood last week and baked several items. I sent this baking home with My Oldest, giving credit to His Younger Brother for the idea. I would say that the gift went over well.

I was still at a loss as to what to do for My Second Son. Again, any monetary gift is lost in the abyss of spending. So I came up with an idea and considered that the financial part of my gift. But what else could I do? What did I have to offer that could be of benefit for him?

I finally came up with the perfect idea. It involved the same (or greater) self sacrifice that baking for His Brother entailed. That's when you know it is a good gift - when it hurts a little bit to give.

My Second Son is in the process of moving out of his suite. He has a good portion of the moving done but still has a final (large) load to be packed up and stored. Then there is the cleaning involved ...

Ahhh! Cleaning!! I can do that! I enjoy it about as much as enjoy baking, so I knew that it was the perfect gift to offer.

Last night, I made my offer. I didn't quite understand the hesitation that my Second Son communicated. So I reiterated my offer ... saying that I could clean the fridge, stove, bathroom ... Again, he paused. I guessed that it wasn't such a good idea after all.

Then he told me the reason for his lack of appreciation. He had already done it! As he emptied his fridge, he cleaned it. As he moved all of his bathroom supplies, he cleaned the bathroom as well. He said that it is part of what he does when he is at work. When you finish with an area, clean it up so that you don't have to return to it later.

I was amazed. This is a man speaking. And we are talking about cleaning a house - not a work site. But ... he had it all under control.

I asked, "Who is your mother???" Am I in any way responsible for this work ethic??

I stood a little taller, thinking that no matter who is responsible for my Second Son's organizational skills, he is my son! And I'm proud of him.

But that still leaves the good deed portion of my gift unfulfilled. I guess I'll have to give him a rain cheque ...

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