Sunday, August 28, 2011

Days of Summer

Why does it seem like summer is over? Summer feels like it begins when school is finished and ends with the last day of holidays for the kids.

Isn't summer is a state of mind? Sunshine, longer days, vacations and planning outside events signify summer to me.

In that case, my summer began in May. Family gatherings, holidays, reunions and fun-filled days ran rampant from May to July. It was one fun thing after another. If that isn't a state of summer and holidays I don't know what is.

July and August have not been a walk in the park. The state of transition has been in the air throughout those months. I have yet to come out the other side of that change triumphant. It is close. I can feel it coming. But I haven't quite made it. Yet.

I have walked through these past few months with a cloud over my head. I peek through the haze and I see and feel the sunlight. But the sun hasn't burned off the cloud cover in its entirety. It is foggy at the best of times.

The return of school this year does not only affect My Youngest. This school year I am also facing a brand new year of faces, things to learn and adapt to. I can feel the unease of my childhood just below the surface. I am fighting to keep it at bay but it is taunting me and threatening to unleash its fury.

I am eager for my state of mind to return to the season of summer. Sunshine, happiness, a life of ease and small celebrations.

There is no reason these last days of summer must end with the last day of school holidays. I am fighting to regain my 'inner summer'. I'm not finished with this season yet!

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