I have been tallying up August's expenses, comparing the actual dollars spent to the budgeted amounts and looking back on previous month's spending. I am aghast.
I have been very conscious of my spending the past few months. I was meagerly successful in July. August? Not so much.
There has been an air of celebration and desperation sprinkled into my spending habits.
I've celebrated surviving July, a birthday, getting my job, working my first day, 'Friday', 'Saturday', the last day of summer holidays, my last paycheque at one job, my first paycheque at another ... you get the idea.
I have felt depleted as I rode the roller coaster ride of emotions as I started two new jobs and the challenges that each brought. The need to be nurtured has been at an all time high this past month. Where do I find that pampering? Take out food.
Back to school, once-in-a-blue-moon expenses and costs related to starting my job have nickel and dimed their way into breaking August's budget.
It seems that I have been spending money every time I turn around. Certainly there were some unexpected expenses. If it isn't one thing, it is another when it comes to the unexpected. I have learned over the years that 'The Unexpected' deserves a spot in the budget.
I have reviewed my spending over the course of the past year and I have been consistently spending more than I have been earning. The varying pay cheque was an excuse. The reality is that I have been living beyond my means.
Despite this, my financial picture isn't as bleak as one may believe. It isn't pretty ... but it isn't hopeless.
I have turned the calendar page to find a clear slate. It is called September.
This month ... I have a job, a routine, a reliable pay cheque and I am slowly making my way through the new-job transition.
This month ... I should have the ability to jump off of the emotional roller coaster that I have been on.
When I look back to when all of this began, I look back to March. Six months.
All of that is behind me. Each and every obstacle that saw before me in those early weeks of March has been confronted, dealt with and life is moving forward.
Enough excuses. My reality is very good. The future is bright.
It is time to rein in the spending and make the most of what I have, respect and adhere to the limitations of my income.
It is time to regain control. Not only my spending ... but my life. Enough is enough.
It is not only money that is slipping through my fingers. I have lost at least two months as I have spun in circles trying to regain my footing.
Where did my time go? That is something I can't get back.
Money comes and goes. Time only moves forward. Once spent ... it is gone forever.
It is time to spend wisely.