It's been slow in coming ... but my 'happy' has returned.
It ebbs and flows a little bit. It isn't a given. I have to work a little harder for it. But I feel it under my skin once again. The ability to find happiness in every day, ordinary little things.
I am finding happiness at work. I am feeling comfortable and the getting-to-know-you process is beginning with many staff members. I found my sense of humor. Common sense is prevailing (though I still lose it from time to time).
I had one 'off' day this week. It was a day that would not stop rewinding and replaying in my head long into the evening. Finally, I stopped myself in my tracks and analyzed why it was another day-of-many-mistakes. It was because I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone and flexing my going-above-and-beyond muscles again. It was a good excuse for a bad day. I got over it.
Yesterday was pure heaven. There were only three of us in our office, while the rest of the school attended a presentation all morning. We worked a little, chatted a little, got to know each other a little and savored the stress-less hours.
I returned after lunch and the day shifted into a little bit of a different mode, but the tranquility of the morning prevailed.
I felt happiness welling up and bubbling inside of me. While I was at work!! It was by far, my best day yet.
And there are more to come. I can feel it.
Two months. I always say the first two weeks of a new job are the toughest. The first month or two are still pretty rough. I was nine days shy of my two month anniversary at my new job when I finally felt the joy that is now within my reach.
We appreciate things more, when we have to work for it. I promise to savor, be grateful and nurture the joy that is returning to my life.
It is our Thanksgiving long weekend. A most perfect time to find that which I am grateful for and celebrate.