I've had many life-experiences which were unfair and hurtful which have marked the hills and valleys in my journey through this life of mine.
As I wrote that sentence, my life past flashed before me. Yes. There have been some life-changing experiences which I wouldn't want to live again. But I did live them ... once. It is my choice not to go back and emotionally dwell those occasions unless doing so, will help someone else (usually my children).
I've had some interesting lessons. Some of them had to repeated in various forms before I finally learned what I needed to know, so that I could move onto new lessons.
This fall has been one of those 'new lessons'. I found myself in the middle of a situation that I did not create and was out of my control. It tore me up inside. I was a shadow of the person that I thought I had become. Nothing that had worked in the past, worked in that situation. All I could do was try my best ... and cry (and I did a lot of that).
Finally, the solution was taken out of my hands. The powers that be removed me from a toxic situation and tossed me into a brand new set of lessons. I walked away from a situation which I could not change, knowing that I had done everything in my power to overcome the challenges. I didn't say or do anything that I regretted. I am trying my best to take the 'lessons learned' and pay them forward into my newest set of life-lessons.
I won't go back and relive those months. It wasn't fair. Some people don't play by the rules but it doesn't mean that others have to resort to their behaviour to 'win'. I remain firm in my resolve that it was a blessing in disguise that the choice to remain in a bad situation was taken out of my hands. I will move on.
I had a conversation last night where I had the opportunity to go back and reopen freshly healed wounds. I refused to take the bait and let my emotions take over my thinking. It was what it was. It isn't any more. I feel happier in this new state of flux, than I did in the state of upheaval that I lived during that time frame. My new situation isn't perfect. But it isn't eating me up inside. I won't go back to 'that place' unless it serves a purpose.
I have done my best to take the lessons learned and apply them to other situations. Bad leadership trickles down and affects all those who work under that leadership. It infects bystanders. It affects the innocents. It is those that don't have a clue what is going on that receive the inferior service, uncaring attitude and a myriad of oversights because 'the obvious' isn't apparent when staff are receiving pressure from all angles.
Now, when I am on the receiving end of poor customer service, I try my best not to jump to conclusions. Perhaps it is a new employee. There may be inadequate training or inadequate staffing. Perhaps there isn't an adequate system of checks and balances to assist staff who walk into a new role (or shift). The staff may not have a strong and supportive team behind them. They may be on the receiving end of subtle but chronic bullying in the workplace. And management that does not confront those issues. Or ... they may simply not be suited for that position and have remained where they are because it is easier than starting from scratch somewhere else.
Now, I won't go back there. But I will do my best not to jump to conclusions. When I run across this 'lesson' in its next revised form ... I will try to empower myself by taking what I learned and pushing through.