Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Be Careful What You Put Out There ...

I make a conscious attempt to spend my words carefully. My mom taught me from a very young age "be careful what you put in writing ..." and for the most part I adhere to her advise.

I am more liberal when it comes to the spoken word. When we first moved to Our New City, I soon realized just how small this community is, when it seemed as though there were about two or three degrees of separation from a lot of people you talked with. I remember thinking that I would never talk about anyone, because the chances of someone knowing someone who knew that person were great. I can't say that I have never said something that I couldn't have said in front of the person I was talking about ... but I continually remind myself of this promise I once made. And I do my best.

Last Monday I posted this quote on "Watch Your Thoughts". It reminded me to start with my thoughts. If I am thinking negatively, it seeps out into my words, my writing and into my entire being.

A few days ago I read a Mountain Wings post "Beware of your SENDS". He wrote of an email that he received in error. The author of the email wrote about the person she accidentally emailed (the email was intended to go to another party) ... thankfully the words were complimentary. But this could have just as easily gone the other way. I liked how this lesson was summed up: "It teaches all of us a good lesson. Whatever you write or speak, write it or speak it as if the other person might read or hear it." It was a very good reminder of the way I strive to live.

Thanks to the words that I have found myself reading, I have been acutely aware of speaking as if the other person may read or hear it. It made yesterday's chance encounter one that makes me smile ...

I am working at yet another new location this week. There were four of us in the office. I had worked with one of the girls (for a day) before but as per usual, I was a stranger in their midst.

We got to talking and because it a rather quiet day around us, we had the chance to stop and have coffee together and visit as we worked. It was a very enjoyable atmosphere to work in and I was revelling in the day.

Primarily, we spoke of our families but we did veer off course as we discussed relationships and their demise. I kept my end of the conversation quite philosophical and distant. I've known heartbreak and disappointment and I can empathize when someone is in the raw state of healing. We volleyed words back and forth between us and I think that each of us got the feeling that the other guy 'got it'. It was just one of those times when few details needed to be exchanged. You knew. Because you had been there.

Fast forward to our next coffee break.

We were sitting around the table and as one thing led to another, two of us discovered that we were separated by only one degree of separation. We would have been sister-in-laws if I had married the man I was engaged to. How we never met in all of the years that I was seeing this man is a point to ponder. Each of us knew of the other ... but we had never crossed paths. Had our conversation not veered off in the direction that it did, we would have walked away from the day none-the-wiser.

The minute we discovered that we were 'almost related', the day flashed before my eyes. What had I said? Did I say anything that I wish that I hadn't? To my great relief, the answer was "No". I had not said anything that I couldn't have said in front of my ex.

Thanks Mom, for the wisdom of your teaching. You taught me at a very young age to be careful what I put out there. Thank you World, for bringing gentle reminders into my vision so that I don't forget.

Be gentle with your words. You never know who is listening ...

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