Sunday, August 12, 2012

What Day Is It?!?

Working seven days of week is for the birds. I have the days of the week so muddled up in my head that I have to stop and think about what day it is more times than I care to admit.

Then there is pulling expired products off the shelf at work and dating the 'best before' dates on new products. I am forward-dated to so many different dates in the future so many times throughout a shift that my brain can't comprehend what date it is either. And even that date changes, as we date the product that is being shipped to another store one day in advance.

Thankfully my work hours have stayed within the confines of 7 a.m. until 9 p.m., but there are shifts that start as early as 4 a.m. and go as late as 3 a.m. ... I have no idea how my poor little brain would manage if I had been asked to work those shifts (I got out of another 4 a.m. shift this morning because the girl who worked that shift yesterday preferred to work it two days in a row to regulate her sleeping hours as much as possible).

The people who work here have my greatest admiration. There are several long term employees and (as far as I understand) even they don't get full-time hours or a regular shift. Others have worked there several years and their shifts change like the wind in the same manner that I have experienced.

There is little satisfaction to the job because you are never, ever, ever to a point where you feel caught up. I now appreciate my naivety during the first weeks because we were so far behind, but I had no idea. So I just went home. Now I see that there are actual definitions as to what is expected for each shift, so I stay late every day attempting to catch up on something (which is not even close to being caught up).

I handed in my resignation yesterday and planned on coming home on time for a change. I'm quitting. Why should I care? But I did. I stayed after work longer yesterday than I ever had before. Because if I didn't, I would be the one to pay the price today (and I would have felt guilty leaving so much backlog for the next person, that I would have done it anyway).

How do people do this day after day, month after month, year after year? Even if they work at top speed during their shift, it doesn't make up for the fact that the prior shifts have fallen behind. Then everyone is behind. The backlog just accumulates.

The people that I have been working with are great. I feel guilty for walking out on them. But not the job. I hate to admit defeat. And I wouldn't ... if it wasn't for the seven-day-a-week availability. That was the last straw.

I simply cannot wait for my New Life to begin. The one where I wake up at the same time every day ... and know (as much as one can know in the daycare world) what to expect.

I thought my days were ever-changing and full of surprises when I ran my daycare. Then I went to work. I worked at a job where the work came in ebbs and flows. Not enough work. Too much work. Working evenings and weekends to ensure I worked enough hours to pay the bills. Then I started another job. I readied myself for the day. Every day. Then waited for the phone to ring.

I thought my daycare income was variable. Then I worked at a job where there was not enough work to pay the bills. So I started a different job where I had even less control over my pay cheque. Then I worked at this last job where I'm barely making over minimum wage.

I am going back to my daycare career with my eyes wide open. I know it won't be a walk in the park. I know that I will miss working with adults on a daily basis. There will be many parts of this new life that will be out of my control. But compared to where I've been? I'm willing to take the risk.

Now I must carry on with my day that feels like a Monday. But it's not. It's really more like a Friday (because I get the next three days off). But it's not. Then again, it's a little bit like a Tuesday because it is the second day in a row that I worked, after a day off. But it's not. I don't know what day it is ... but I'm glad to know that it is the last day that I am booked to work for a few days.

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