"I forget to sleep and eat. This is almost as good as falling in love. In fact, I think it's better ... "
These are the words that fell out of my fingertips late last night as I wrote a long and windy response to a one-line email that I had received.
My fingers often get carried away and write what my subconscious mind is telling them. As I wrote that email, it reminded me of a post that I wrote about breaking up with myself. "I've been in a dysfunctional relationship with myself for the past year and I've had enough. I'm breaking it off and setting it free."
I talked about gutting my life, keeping what was good and solid, then building around what was left. "I don't know exactly what that means right now but sometimes my fingers know things that my head hasn't figured out yet." I predicted that I would reread those words in a year and figure out what my subconscious mind already knew.
Maybe a year will tell me more, but I am amazed at the difference that three months can make. This is what it feels like to make a decision that is right for yourself. Suddenly you are simply going with the current and everything feels easy ... again.
Life has a way of repeating itself. I went through this purging cycle about five years ago ... I had to remind myself how necessary it was that I 'let go' of certain aspects of my life at that time.
Letting go of what is bringing you down gives you the energy to focus on rebuilding that which is good in your life.
Once again, I was reminded of the article "66 Ways to Build Courage" by Christine Kane. "... there’s a deeper level of courage. It makes you stronger with each move you make. It makes you fall in love with yourself. It makes you fall in love with your life. That’s because, at its core, courage is about strengthening your relationship with yourself..."
I have fallen in love. With myself and my life. This is a very good place to start ... again.