Friday, December 28, 2012

It is Hard to be Sociable

I am a very solitary soul. I could happily exist for days on end with little to no contact with the outside world.

I love when my world gets quiet and thoughts waft in and out of my head like a gentle breeze. I revel in those moments when I can sit down and let my fingers do the walking over the keyboard when my head is in that quiet, reflective place. Moments like that recharge me like little else.

I savor the quiet of my morning rituals. It gives me the opportunity to sit still with my thoughts (or lack of them). My entire body relaxes when I find my quiet place. My body and mind are closely correlated and when one is happy and relaxed, so is the other.

I enjoy finding a quiet pocket in a day to sit still and let myself close out the world around me. That time and place when I am nothing to no one. I am just idling and neutral. From the outside I may look grumpy and depressed, but on the inside I am regaining my inner happy.

I haven't had too many of those quiet moments this holiday. That is okay. I will find them again when life resumes its normal pace. But I do anticipate those quiet moments when I am officially on holidays from my day-to-day life.

I find it hard when I feel the subtle pressure from those around me, to be more than I am. Sometimes ... what you see is what you get. If I find myself in a quiet moment, I can easily lose myself in it. And sleep.

Falling asleep when someone is talking to you is (perhaps) the epitome of rudeness. Most people's remedy wouldn't be getting up hours before you need to be up to regain their energy levels. But that is my solution. Those few hours to let my body and mind relax and be quiet is exactly what I need to get through a people-oriented day. To take those hours away and jump right into my day with both feet drains me.

I got up before the birds this morning. I could barely keep myself in bed until 5:30. I have too many things to do today and I must make it look like I don't. I am not quite sure how to accomplish that ... but I know that a two hour head start will give me my best shot at getting through the day ahead. So please understand if I start nodding off at 9:00 tonight .....

No comments:

Post a Comment