The thing about planting seeds, is that you can never be quite sure when they may decide to take root ...
Throughout my career-change-journey, I planted many seeds. A lot of them simply died without a sign of life. Some sprouted and gave life to new opportunity. There were a few that actually bloomed ... only to die an early death.
July 31st, I sent out one more round of résumés. Less than two weeks later, I was in the business of rerouting my life. August 10th, I started delivering flyers. The same day, I came home and posted an advertisement that I was reopening my daycare. August 17th, I had an offer of a part-time bookkeeping job. September 4th, I was on my way to reliving my old life. And it felt good. It felt very good.
Yesterday ... I got a call out of the blue. A company that I could have seen myself working for called to request an interview with me tomorrow.
It is a six-month, full-time position. I perused the company's postings on the Internet to try and get an idea of the rate of pay. It was enough for me to do a double-take and consider the possibilities.
I got this call at the end of a frustrating Day at Daycare. Toilet training drains me. I felt like I had nothing left in me at the end of the day. Then I see this alternative choice ....
I asked if I could sleep on the idea and call this person back this morning. I kind of knew what my answer was going to be before I asked if I could consider the idea. But I couldn't slam the door shut. I needed to peek into another horizon to see if it held any possibilities worth uprooting my new/old life for.
I have invested a lot of myself and money into reestablishing myself in the Daycare World. I am building trust, respect and relationships with my families. My Youngest seems very happy to have me at home. I love working from home. I could not abandon ship at this point. I knew it yesterday. But I needed to consider the idea.
I sent an email off to my brother ... mostly to just let the words flow out of my fingertips and see how they presented themselves. But my brother's opinion truly matters to me. So I was delighted to find his reply, "If this was you a year or two ago ... You'd consider this as a sign it was time to move on. But this isn't last year. This is after a year of you learning who you are and what makes you happy ..."
If I was to make a rash change at this point, it would be about money and little else. My sense of security would be shattered. At the end of the six month position, I would be back to where this all began. Perhaps with a regained sense of security. Perhaps ... not. Part of me would like to redeem myself in my own eyes. Part of me wants to know if I could survive in the 'real world' ...
But the biggest part of me? Knows that I am exactly where I am meant to be. And as my brother threw my own words of advice back into my own court "If money can fix the problem, maybe the problem really isn't that bad".
I am committed. I will thrive in this new world that I have created for myself. I just needed a little nudge to remind myself that I am in this for all of the right reasons. I am here to stay.