First and foremost, I must make the most of my Daycare Days. When I reopened my doors, it was with my eyes wide open. I focused on the little moments that matter within the day and life was beyond wonderful.
Granted, we got outdoors a lot during the first few months. We went for morning strolls that were dictated by little more than my ability to push my two charges for as long as I wished. It was heavenly to breath in the fresh air, walk and let thoughts drift aimlessly in and out of my mind. Then the last hour of the day was spent in the back yard. The kids could run and play and just be kids. We had the time and opportunity to count the lady bugs. I miss those days. I miss them a lot.
I savored the getting-to-know-you process with my new family. There were a few challenges and I remember thinking at the end of that first month just how far we had all come in becoming comfortable and getting to know each other. I vividly remembered the first days and fully appreciated the comfort levels that we all gained during that month.
Then we added one more to the family. It was like repeating the first month ... only we couldn't walk quite as far (because my two year old was now walking instead of riding along in the stroller). But we still got outside regularly. Another 'first month' of getting to know each other and at the end of that second month, I felt ready to take on a fourth child and yet more challenges.
That didn't happen ... but toilet training did. That took every ounce of patience and spare time that I had. In the end, I was rather grateful a fourth child did not enter the mix at that time.
Then came December and I gave up hope on adding to our family in 2012. The new year would bring new life to our daycare and more mountains to climb.
My wish came true. Sort of. I have a half-time five year old that comes (basically) every other day. He has been here a grand total of three (half) days. We haven't yet developed a new rhythm in those few hours. The walls are closing in on us, as the weather has kept us indoors on the cold days and when the days warm up, our outdoor activities are restricted to going for walks (and the sidewalks are a mess ever since they cleaned the streets and the excess has trickled onto the sidewalks).
I am slowly but surely going a little stir crazy. I am not alone. I have three and a half young children that are also tiring of these walls that confine us. Try as I might, the kids tire of most every new idea or toy or combination of toys that I can come up with. I need some new material. But most of all ... I need a new lease on life.
The tedium of our days is carrying on into my evening and weekends. I am acting like my kids. Simply bored and more than a little happy to let the TV entertain me in every little nook and cranny of the day that isn't ruled by responsibilities.
I don't want the kids to watch more than a minimal amount of TV because I know it isn't good for them. Yet I am not governing myself by the same rules. Television is turning my brain to mush. I have stopped looking at the small moments in life and appreciating them. I need to turn off the TV and tune back into the life that I am living.
The best place to start is within my Daycare Day.
I have been blessed with three adorable little children (plus my half-time five year old that I am still getting to know). It is time to sit on the floor and see the world the way they see it. Listen to what they are saying. Watch, enjoy and guide what they are doing.
I need our day to be more than a regularly scheduled itinerary of breakfast; play-time; quiet-time; lunch-time; nap-time; snack-time; then more play-time. When I reflect on the day I want to remember the moments ... not a running commentary on the regularly scheduled requirements.
This morning, I grabbed the notebook that I had on my night stand so that I can write down the little moments and memorable things the kids do or say throughout the day. This notepad has been on my night stand for almost a year. I thought that perhaps deep and insightful thoughts were coming to me in the middle of the night and I was neglecting to focus on them.
So I started a 'dream journal'. It has one entry. One.
"Sometimes it is not what we see ...
or hear ...
It is what we feel."
Today is about what I feel. I shall keep my notepad at my side and write down the little moments that make a day. Today will be more than what I see and hear ... it will be about what I feel.
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