Friendly Alliances

Life is fragile. When we wake up to yet another day in our life-as-we-know-it ... we are blessed. That moment, that day ... is a gift.

I have been spending time with a friend who has been dealt one blow after the other this past year. She is a stubborn soul and one blow didn't knock her off of her feet. But the relentless attack that her body is fighting is wearing her down. But you don't see it. At first ...

When your body is waging a war within itself, your best defense is a positive attitude and optimism. It may not be a cure all, but it definitely can't hurt. Where there is the will to fight, there is hope. She is a fighter.

The details are not mine to tell, but there are many sides to this disease called cancer that are ugly. The side effects that it has on a marriage and relationships, for one. Illness and injuries infect the entire family - not simply the one who is hosting the 'party'.

It is not easy when life deals you blows that are completely out of your control. I have yet to figure out which is harder - to be the one who is fighting the fight or the ones on the sidelines trying to do and say all of the right things as the supporting person.

It is hard enough to deal with an illness that is relatively short term and goes by the 'rules'. It is quite another to have things snowball and go in directions that you could never foresee. How do you keep picking yourself up and fighting? When the alternative is losing the battle, is there really any other choice than to give your opponent all that you can?

My friend has a brave exterior. The facade rarely cracks ... but I can see how fragile she is underneath her words. She needs her supporting people to be strong enough to carry her if she falters. She is strong and mighty. This is a person I have come to know as one who can muster the strength it takes to forge on despite the odds. But I also see how vulnerable she is and hear her quiet plea for support.

As I reread these words, I could easily interchange the face of this friend with many, many people that I know that are courageously battling the twists and turns that they have been dealt in their lives. Many choose to keep the details of their personal stories to themselves. Some reveal only vague hints; others will tell you a 'page' of their story; and there are those that reveal previous chapters of their lives very gingerly after years of trust have been built.

Be gentle with those who cross your path as you wade through your days. Someone you know very well could be waging a war that is not reported on the front pages of their life. 

You never fully know the impact of your actions and words. I just hope I have been spending mine wisely ...