An invitation to our 35 year reunion had me walking down memory lane this morning. Since my memory needed a little encouragement, I pulled out our high school yearbook and started thinking about those young and 'innocent' years. All I can say (35 years later), is I wish that I would have made more memories during that time.
As my youngest son started high school this past fall, I found myself reflecting on my high school years as being 'invisible'. It wasn't altogether a bad thing for me. I walked through the halls of My Old High School and made little (or no) impact during those years. I was quiet and absorbed the world I lived in. I believe those quiet reflections made me more of who I am today.
Who am I?
I started my role as 'Mom' shortly after our class graduated. And so began my journey into adulthood ...
My marriage taught me independence. It was an off again, on again relationship that lasted the better part of ten years. I had one more son and three months after he was born (twenty six years ago), I packed up my little 'family of three' and moved to Saskatoon. It was the best move of my life ...
I worked full time in the banking industry from January, 1979 until June, 1998 (when my youngest son was born).
If life has taught me one thing, it is that the best outcomes come out of the most trying of times. It was a moment in the sun with my youngest son that changed my world. I sat in a sunbeam with my infant and knew that 'this' was where I had wanted to be all along. I 'just' wanted to be a mom ...
I opened a daycare and have been operating that (with a three-year hiatus to educate myself and try out a brand new career at the age of 50) ever since. I learned many more hard lessons during those three years of trying out the brave new world. What I learned most of all ... is that I have made a difference in this world simply by being a mom.
My children are reflections of who I was when I raised them. They are good citizens in their worlds and making small differences in the way they see and reflect the world. And they like me. They really like me! Trust me, after raising two teenage boys, I know that I am blessed beyond what words can express to be able to say, "My 15 year old son likes me." I always follow up that statement with the disclaimer "I know this can change in a heartbeat ... but I am grateful for every moment that this remains to be true." I have been saying that since he was 12 years old and he still delights me simply by LIKING me!
So no, I don't have a list of degrees, careers or accomplishments to write about. What I have instead, is a life that I am grateful to have. There is peace in our home and harmony within my family. And my family has grown to include friends that feel just as close as family to me.
Moving back to Saskatoon brought me closer to my 'roots'. I was born and lived in this area until I was 9 years old and I believe that I spent my life finding my way back home. I have researched, interviewed and compiled memories for both of my mom & dad's families and gotten to know my extended family in ways I could have never imagined.
I am nearing 53 years old and I can happily say that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. If life goes my way, I will never stop saying that. I love being open to being able to go where the wind blows. As long as it always blows me back to a home filled with quiet joy, peace and contentment.