Thursday, July 11, 2013

I am Not Alone

I have come across some blog authors that truly strike a chord with me. They write. I feel. They may be dealing with life circumstances that appear to be polar opposite to the hand which I was dealt ... but they write in a way that encompasses the world around them and draws you in.

Despite outward appearances, aren't we all in the same boat? Each and every one of us have been dealt a different 'hand' in life but the way we digest, internalize and cope with life's challenges unite us. Because we are all fighting our own battle.

Everyone has a story. We may feel alone and lonely ... until we listen to someone else's back story. Whenever we have one of those 'knee shaking' conversations (where we are 'real' with each other ... where pretenses are lost and you find yourself thinking "I am not the only one...") it opens the door and casts light upon that which we are aching to heal.

This week, I have been fighting to keep my head above water. It is not a intense struggle. I am simply treading water when I would rather not even be in the pool. I'm not drowning but I'm not comfortable either. It has been taking an extraordinary amount of energy to accomplish the ordinary tasks that each day brings. I feel like I am teetering on an edge that could easily go either way if I let go. So I'm hanging on ...

I don't know if it is a matter of seeing what I need to read, when I need to read it ... or if the world has spun into a different orbit and has disoriented a good portion of the population of the authors that I am reading. But it seems to me, that I am not alone in my struggle. And reading how others are dealing with the same emotions (differing in intensity ... but the underlying cause is so relatable to me) reassures me. I am not alone ...

Our ability to cope with what we are dealt comes in ebbs and flows. When you are at the top of your game and life throws you a curve ball, you take a swing at it with all that you've got and you feel that the only way you can lose is if you don't try. When you are sitting on the bench and called out to play when you would rather be cowering in a corner, you don't feel capable of 'hitting that ball' no matter how it comes at you.

This morning, I read the words "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???" as a blog author wrote of her reaction to a kink in their summer schedule. Those simple words put me right smack dab inside of her shoes. I've been there. The anxiety, worry and over reaction to some of life's 'small stuff' when you aren't at the top of your game. I hate when it happens. But it does. I am not alone.

Then I read the words "I just wanted to tell you that I don’t talk about it (depression) either. Especially not when I’m in it" as another author wrote of the depression that she is fighting her way through. Oh, man. I get that too. Especially when it comes to those in your world who want to 'fix' you. No. I don't need to be fixed. I need to wade through this. In my own way. In my own time. I've done this before and I'll do this again. Each time I learn something that I need to know (but as this author writes ... I simply 'forget' what that magic formula was when I'm knee deep in coping). I am not alone ...

Other authors are writing through various challenges, emotions and internal battles. My life is easy compared to others. But sometimes? It simply feels harder than it needs to feel. It is simply comforting to know that I am not alone ...

On a cheerier note, my days as a daycare provider have been bringing light into my world. My new family started yesterday and it simply could not have gone better. I want to be like a two-year-old. My two little girls welcomed their new friend into their world like they have known each other forever. A little family of three moved across an ocean to bring them 'exactly to this spot' ... their little girl has found a kinship among friends in a heartbeat.

Envelop those in your world the way a two-year-old does. Don't hold back. Open the door and let life walk in. Chances are, that the person on the other side of that door needs your friendship just as much as you need theirs.

Remember ... we are not alone.

No comments:

Post a Comment