I wake up refreshed. The dreams that linger in my consciousness in those first waking moments are light and easy. I am eager to move on with the day ahead of me.
I am on holidays. And I am lovin' it!
Gone are the anxiety-filled dreams of work and not-being-enough. Gone is the morning count down "how-many-minutes-do-I-have-left-to-myself". Gone are a houseful of little people depending on me for every little thing.
I am spending time with myself.
My solitary confinement isn't all that I made it out to be. I pop out and chat with My Son in bits and spurts throughout the day. I check my emails and the blogs I follow. I have answered the phone. Twice. In each case, it was all business and I was off the phone within a minute.
I am nourishing myself with food that is good for me.
Instead of buying chips and sweets to sustain us throughout the week, I bought fruit, vegetables and meal-oriented food. Would I eat the junk food if I had it? You betcha!! But it is not here. So I found myself craving vegetables the other night. Vegetables?!?!! Who knew?? The only trouble is that the carrots are not good and the cucumber is sour. Way'd a go and wreck a good thing.
I am filling myself up and I am filling the pages of the book that I am compiling at the same time.
Two more good, solid days should have all of my information a small bit cleaned up and all in one spot, in a format that I can work with. One or two (preferably two) days of 'cleaning it up' should put me in a place where I can print off a first draft to share with the contributors to our story. It will be so much easier to pick this up and finish it off once I get through these imperative phases.
The Book will be complete. Perhaps not immediately. But it is getting closer. Oh-so-much-closer. Once I get this to the spot where I can send it out into my family for input, suggestions and editing ... it will become easy.
I need for this to be done. I need to put this in the hands of Dad's family. Where it belongs. I have held onto this far too long. I'm ready to let it go.
I really, really needed this vacation. I haven't spent (quality) time with myself for a while. I have missed this...
Don't wait for a vacation. Give yourself the gift of indulging yourself in what-you-need-the-most a little bit every day. Don't wait for anxiety-ridden dreams to push you to that place where you don't even know what you need. Or recognizing the need and not having the ability to pursue it.
It is hard to close the door on the world. But it is necessary at times. At least for me it is ...