I barely walked the edge of that teetering line when My Oldest was a teen. Life was very tense, I felt like I was reliving my marriage and I no longer saw My Son for who he was. He had to move out before we could move on and (much later) resume a healthy mother/son relationship.
They were tough years. I wouldn't want to relive them but I did learn lessons along the way that would make the same scenario easier to deal with a second time around.
I have a small dose of understanding for what I am hearing from family and friends as their dependants wade through the dark and murky waters of adolescence.
Growing up is hard. It is hard when life all around you is easy. You don't know who you are and have no idea who you will become. Your measuring stick is the world around you, how you perceive it and how you feel treated within that world. Add hormones and self esteem issues and it is one hot mess.
Add mental health issues into the mix and the entire scenario changes. It is like walking through a mine field. You never know what the next step will bring.
It is happening all around me. Parents and guardians walking on eggshells because they have a child that is at risk.
I have no answers. All I know is to seek out the professionals, take whatever advise that fits and 'grab your oxygen mask'...
An Alanon adage that replays in my mind when life gets too hard is: "Let Go and Let God".
We are mere mortals in this world. We cannot fix everything that is broken. Sometimes to surrender, is to hand the hard stuff over to The Powers That Be and envelope yourself in faith. Faith that you will know what to do when it happens. Faith that a strong guiding force will open the windows to help you see what you need to see. Faith that you can get through the moment ...
What am I talking about? My situation was so small. So easy when I look at the complications that life, sexuality issues and mental health issues add to the equation. I have no idea what it is like to parent a child when you fear for their life ...
We live in a country where health care is free. We can walk into a doctor's office and put our trust in professionals to guide us where we need to go to protect our children.
We live in a world where mental health issues are talked about and real. There is no need to gloss over and pretend it is all going to go away when you have the inner knowledge that it is here to stay.
We live in a world where all avenues of all sexuality are out in the open. But until you are the one in those shoes you really have no idea how it feels to not fit within the invisible lines that society deems 'typical'.
We live in a time where we live openly and out loud on all of the social medias available to man. On one hand, this opens doors that were never open before. We can reach out and find support from those who are walking a similar path and feel less alone. The more dangerous path is that there is no time in between the time someone spouts off their thoughts and hits the "Post" button on their cell phone which is connected to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
We know more. We are more connected. It is a time where 'the world' is at our fingertips. Yet ... our children are still hurting and we feel more helpless than ever before.
I have no answers. All I have is the faith that you must sometimes surrender and accept whatever help comes your way. Grab that oxygen mask and save yourself first. So that you are there to help others ....