I didn't wake up to the after-taste of a bad day this morning. I didn't realize what was different until I sat down and wrote about it. Yesterday was calm.
Life is funny that way. Little things keep adding up and before you know it, you are dealing with big things. It is harder to recognize when 'action is required' when those little things start to pile up over a long period of time.
It is a very slow and gradual process. You don't see it coming. Because it has been there all along. Perhaps a little bit like filling up a sandbox a teaspoon at a time. What is insignificant at the beginning becomes overwhelming if you keep adding, without taking anything away.
A few days ago, I 'dumped my sandbox'.
At first, I didn't think that I could do it. In the end, I just had to close my eyes and forge through the moment. Once it was done, it couldn't be undone. There were others that would miss 'playing with that sand'. In the end, I simply had to do it for the better good.
I tentatively walked through my day yesterday. Guilt showed up to visit but was not allowed to stay. Perspective started peeking through the window and I sat in that ray of insight and breathed a long, steady sigh of relief.
The day was not perfect but it was ideal in every other way. I sat still and breathed in moments. Not in a hyperventilating sort of way ... but a long, deep inhalation of breath followed by a slow and deliberate exhale. I absorbed oxygen during the day. I was more of who-I-am. Verses the person I became while hanging on for dear life as our days spiralled out of control.
Sometimes we need to do a little housekeeping in our lives. Keep that which works and rid ourselves of that-which-drains-us. This is easier said than done.
Listen to yourself when you wake up in the morning. How are you breathing? What are you feeling? What residual thoughts from the previous day haunt you? Do you have too much pulling at you? Can you pinpoint one factor that continues to weigh you down? What choices do you have?
Even when we feel we are stuck, there is often something that can be done to shift the load. If you have been adding to your 'sandbox' without taking anything away, stand back and have a good hard look at it. Is there anything you can do to lighten your load?
Think of the after-taste of your day. Try to live a day that feels sweet on your tongue when it is over.