I woke up to a (what felt like) terminal case of ennui this weekend. It started the moment my weekend began Friday evening. I fought through it and endured. But it hurt.
It hurt to shower. It hurt to clean the bathroom. It hurt to get ready for company. It hurt to visit. It hurt to go to a funeral. Then I had a hangover of hurt after my company left and I did not have to be anything to anyone.
I watched episode after episode of the Gilmore Girls. I had a can of Pringles at my side at all times. I immersed myself in my lethargy and hoped to wake up feeling like a renewed me yesterday. Didn't happen.
What happened instead, is that my Middle Son, His Girlfriend and Their Two Dogs returned from their weekend at their farm hours ahead of when I expected them. I had promised myself that I would have the walks shovelled before their return. So my day was immediately jump-started into motion. And it wasn't awful. In fact, it was a little bit good.
Our weather was absolutely beautiful. Why wasn't I sitting outside on the deck?!?? Okay. It wasn't that beautiful. But it was above freezing. After enduring -30 to -40 degree weather for the better part of a few months, anything above that feels like a chinook. Yesterday? It felt like
Next on my agenda - we needed milk. I told my Youngest Son when I left. "I am going out to buy milk. I have a bazillion other things that I could do while I am out. I may be right back. Or I might be gone all day ..."
I left the house at 1:00 and did not return until 5:30.
I spent all of the money that I would have spent on the overnight-get-away that was originally planned for this weekend. I didn't fritter it away. I bought that-which-was-needed. A few clothes (I despise shopping for clothes); an ice fishing sled (so I can pile my Daycare Family into it and go for a nice, long walk now that our winter weather is mild enough); a new mat for the front door (the rubberized backing on the previous mat had disintegrated into black, plastic dust and was no longer repelling water from seeping through to the carpet below); some used toys for the daycare; groceries; and oh, milk.
I got home at 5:30 and had much-left-to-do. I laid my 'carpet' which was a bigger job that it sounds like (I will not go into details but trust me. It took time and muscle power and a small amount of endurance). I assembled the sled (No I didn't. I asked for help tying a knot so it wouldn't come undone when I had a sled-full-of-kids when I was a mile away from home). I washed up the used toys that I had bought. I continued to organize my world for the onslaught of a new Daycare Week.
I didn't stop moving until after 9:00. At night.
It hurt to move. It hurt to sit. I It hurt to sleep. I hurt all through the night. I had just recently started sleeping through the night again after my sleep injury (I hurt my back sleeping) finally healed. Then I moved yesterday. And I hurt all over.
My ennui was cured.
A little Gilmorism that cracks me up:
Lorelai: What's the opposite of ennui?
Sookie: Off-ui. Oh, hey, I'm cured!
*Ennui - a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.