Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Do You Think I'm Okay?

I have a friend that will call me and ask me outright, "Do you think I'm (insert the question-of-the-moment here)?"

I ask the same question (without posing the question directly) within a great majority of the conversations that I have on a daily basis. I lay myself on the line a lot. This is who I am. This is how I think. This is my rational. This is how I think the other guy might be feeling. Quietly asking (without saying the words) what do you think? In other words, "Do you think I'm okay (in my imperfection)?"

Do we all need a little affirmation or is it just me and my friend?

I listen to the conversations that flow through my days. In so very many ways I hear people indirectly asking me the same things.

Raising children. The parents that I work for will tell me how they are dealing with a situation and I hear a question mark at the end of many of these stories. I am old enough to be their mother so I suppose that they think that I know more (based on my life experience).

Friends that are living imperfect lives. As wonderful as things look on the outside, there is always more to the story. The more I get to know people, the more I realize that I don't know. When someone opens up their door just enough to let me see that there is more than meets the eye, I hear them asking? "Do you think I am okay ... even after you know all of this??"

I like open ended conversations that leave unspoken questions within them. They open up a dialogue where two people get to bounce their words off of each other. We all know our own answers. They are often hidden underneath the clutter of life, stress, emotion, turmoil and not wanting to admit that we already know (that the answer that we don't want to admit) is our answer.

I don't like someone to jump in and solve my troubles. I like to volley words back and forth in a manner that I hear myself solve my own dilemmas.

I waiver in my self confidence. I have high confidence, low confidence and everything-in-between those highs and low confidence days. Sometimes I need affirmation that it is simply okay to be who I am, think what I think, be imperfect and be liked all the same.

I like that my friend comes out and directly asks the question. I know not to answer her. She simply needs to spill her thoughts out loud and hear her own answers. And ... the affirmation that even though she is not perfect, she is still okay.

We are all imperfect. And we are still okay. Imperfection is part of the human condition. And it is okay.

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." ~ Sam Keen

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