I can lose time like nobody's business.
Yesterday morning I sat down in exactly this 'space' at very close to the same time (6:37 a.m.) and I thought to myself I have lots of time to sit here and write for a while ...
So I wrote.
It wasn't much. It wasn't hard. I didn't lose myself. But suddenly it was 7:24 a.m. and my first daycare family of the day was on my doorstep. I had completely and totally lost a half hour somewhere.
Normally I look at the clock in and around 7:00 then have a quick bath, run around and do a few things and then my daycare families start filing in.
Not yesterday. I looked at the clock in and around 6:37ish and then I heard movement on the doorstep.
In and of itself, that is not a remarkable observation. The weird thing was when I got dressed.
I quickly threw on some clothes, walked down the hallway and my upper left arm started to hurt. Completely and totally out of nowhere. Weird.
And it didn't go away. Weirder.
My first thought was the left arm/heart attack correlation. I was 99% certain that was not happening but I had just heard that the leading cause of death in heart attack victims is 'denial'. Add this weird pain to the half hour that had inexplicably slipped out of my hands (I still can't quite figure out how I lost it so thoroughly) and I slipped out of Denial Mode, then took my blood pressure. If something was amiss, surely my blood pressure would be off kilter.
Step #2 - Dr. Google. I googled my symptom and quickly deduced that my sore arm was connected to my sore neck/shoulder muscles that had been getting increasingly annoying all weekend. The upper arm bone is connected to the shoulder bone; the shoulder bone is connected to the neck bone and all that jazz. I was cured.
But I simply could not help but sit and think that 'this' is how it happens. 'This' is how a life can be upended and changed on a dime. 'This' is what can happen to anybody, at any time. One unexpected twist or turn and life may never be the same.
My friend's sister was admitted into the hospital last Friday morning. She passed away yesterday afternoon. I was admitted into the hospital six years ago with the same symptoms. When they described all of the contingencies before I had an emergency hernia operation, they explained (what I consider to be) the worst case scenario. The 'worst case scenario' is exactly what happened to my friend's sister. With the added risk factors of her current state of health. I walked out of the hospital within 24 hours with nothing more than a battle scar and a little healing to do. My friend's sister? Didn't walk out again.
Life can change in a New York Minute. Yesterday? It didn't. But it did for so many others. My friend has lost another member of her family. Her attitude is to 'seize the moment' and enjoy life now because she has been reminded time and time and time and time again ... that we just don't know how long we have on this planet. She is bound and determined to make the most of every moment. She tells people she loves them. Every day. At the end of every conversation. She takes her adult family on vacations. A lot. She honors, respects and loves her husband out loud.
I don't think that a person can live in fear of what may lie ahead. But we can (and should) make the most of the little moments we find within each and every day. And try to keep track of those 'half hours' that slip idly through our fingers (I am right on track this morning and know exactly where this last half hour went).