I find myself eternally hopeful and enjoy the place where that hope comes from. Perhaps I have retained just a little bit of my childlike naivety and with it, that piece of wistful hope that miracles happen.
I went to visit my aunt on Sunday. She had been in the hospital just over a week when I saw her. To the best of my understanding, she was admitted due to internal bleeding. They had been unable to find the source of her bleeding. Through the course of running a myriad of tests to find out what was happening, her health continued to decline. The day before I went to visit her, she had decided to cease and desist all testing. They unhooked all IV's and she was willing to let nature take its course.
Her family said that almost immediately after having made this decision she started to perk up. She could eat whatever and whenever she wanted to. She wasn't attached to tubes and wires. She was free to rest and relax without the doctors and nurses continually prodding and testing.
She was surrounded by her family. She tired easily. She rested when she needed to rest. Her husband, her children and her grandchildren were at her side whenever she woke up. She has a strong faith and that certainly could not have hurt her as she waited for her body to give up or else start healing itself.
I called Mom after I had visited with her sister. I told her "If that is what faith gives a person ... I want some of that". I told Mom what I had heard from her family, what I had seen with my eyes and what I felt with my heart. It was a very peaceful conversation.
Her doctors had told her that it could be two hours or it could be two days from the time that they unhooked all of the IV's and moniters, until her body gave up.
After I spoke with Mom, she said that she had a strong feeling that 'it wouldn't be Monday'. I called Mom again Monday morning (to let her know that my cousin had tried to call her after she went to sleep Sunday night) and relayed all that my cousin had told me. It was pretty much what I had come to understand after my visit so there wasn't much new news.
The funny thing is when Mom actually said the words, "Well, miracles happen..." and for some reason, Mom didn't hush that quiet voice that she heard. She said she had a funny feeling that her sister just may be one of those miracles. I told Mom that I had actually thought exactly the same thing.
The phone remained quiet on Tuesday. No news is good news, so they say. But in this case I just assumed that 'no news was simply no news'.
Wednesday morning came and went. The phone remained blissfully silent. So I called my mom.
The first words Mom said? "There has been a miracle..."
My aunt's internal bleeding has stopped. She was strong enough to go back to the hospital in her home town. She is most definitely not out of the woods yet but she has overcome the odds and improved, despite the doctor's grim prognosis.
She refused a blood transfusion due to her religious beliefs. Her body started to shut down and she was physically unable to proceed with the testing that the doctors had ordered. She was willing to "let go and let God" and (as of this moment) she is better than she has been in a long time.
Suddenly, I am reaffirming my naive belief that miracles happen. Sometimes you simply have to let go of all of the safety nets and allow yourself to fall. You end up exactly where you are meant to be...
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