Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Growing Pains

Here I go again. Rebuilding what I thought was good. Again.

Don't you hate it when you think you've reached the plateau of 'good enough' and someone very quietly suggests .... that it isn't?

Is it that other person's fault? Or is it my own guilt?

Whatever it is, it makes me a small bit angry. Or frustrated. Or incapable. Or was it just Monday??

I didn't even try yesterday. I have tried very, very hard and it wasn't enough. Not enough to please all of the people all of the time. Just. Not. Enough.

I lay my 'work' out on the table. I write. I show. I tell about the intricacies of our days. Maybe I write too much.

So this morning, I wrote a 36 word update about our yesterday (illustrated with six pictures):

It was a very tired kind of Monday. There are so very few words to go with the day...

"We came ..."
"We saw ..."
 "We conquered..."
  "We survived..."
 We did it, guys!
 We got through another Monday!!

I am afraid to say too much. Perhaps, while I am feeling this way, less is just enough.

How often do I do this to another person?? Say something that makes someone feel inadequate and want to give up trying. Because they have done their best. And their best is not enough??

Life is good and life is fair. It is very good that this lesson has been turned back to me. It is uncomfortable, but feeling discomfort is usually the beginning of (yet again) more growth.

There is no such thing as 'reaching the top' and just enjoying the view. There is always something more, something bigger, something more challenging ahead.

And ... just when you think you accomplished the impossible and reached your goal, there is the descent down to earth. Which is harder than the climb up.

I just need to regain my footing and find a different plateau. 

Growing hurts. 

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