I seem to be finding myself in a place of listening to those I know well, going through some of their life's greatest struggles.
I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to walk (or even stand still) in their shoes, but I remember the times when life brought me to my knees. And all that I can think of are the times when all I could do, was surrender to the moment. Alanon wisely implanted the words into my mind "Let go and let God..."
When you have done all that you know how to do and feel powerless as to the outcome, perhaps that is exactly when you need to stop and surrender to whatever the outcome may be as it unfolds.
One never knows what energy and coping tools you may need until you are standing right in the middle of the worst-case-scenario. In my personal experience, it is at that crisis point that I am at my strongest. Adrenaline kicks in and takes me through the worst of times. It is only when I am standing safely on the other side of that quicksand that had the ability to pull me under, that my knees start to shake as I wonder what to do now that I have made it to the other side.
I tend to be able to keep my emotions in check when walking through fire. Fight or flight. I feel invincible when faced with those moments of crisis. Why is it that as I sit here and let those moments come to mind, it is my children that I have been fighting for? Always my children. Even when fighting for myself, underneath it all, I was truly fighting for my children. And this is exactly who those-I-know-well are fighting for.
We can be so very strong when waging a war for our children. We seem to be able to do and say and be all that we need to be in those moments of crisis. But in the end, we are so very often completely powerless over the final outcome.
When you make it safely to the other side of that quicksand and feel like every forward step you take from that point on could pull you under, where do you go? What do you do? How do you make it to the next point of stability?
These are the words that fall off of my fingertips as I try to find words of comfort:
"Just glide ... gently glide and let life take you where you most need to be. Do not place any extra demands on yourself besides wafting in and around where your heart guides you. Sometimes? We just have to surrender. This is all out of your control. You cannot do more than you have already done and are doing. Be gentle with yourself. Grab your oxygen mask..."
Grab your oxygen mask and don't be afraid to lean on a friend or two. As I have stood outside the circle of support of families I know, going through a crisis, I envision each of them leaning in towards a mid-point, as the poles of a tee-pee come together in the middle and forge a structure that becomes stronger together.
I think that Mr. Da Vinci understood this concept well:
“An arch consists of two weaknesses which, leaning one against the other, make a strength.”
~ Leonardo Da Vinci