Thursday, September 4, 2014

So Many Thoughts, So Little Time

I woke up twenty minutes before my alarm this morning and I knew it was too early to get out of bed. So I thought "I will just lay here and think ..." And I did.

The next 'minute', my alarm went off and I was off and running.

I was excited. I had so many thoughts. Which one could I sit down and write about this morning? It was like seeing a buffet full of all of my favorite food items and not knowing where to begin.

But then I realized that the 'buffet' was filled with 'food and beverage items' that only tasted right when shared them with the right person.

Potato skins taste best, when I share an order with my mom; an alcoholic beverage on a hot summer day (or cool fall evening or actually any time at all) when shared with my sisters; a 'Thanksgiving meal' (a phrase my Youngest Son coined, which means I cooked a 'meat and potatoes' kind of meal) with my own little family (any time of the year); appetizers with friends; Boston Pizza with my Bestest Friend ... and the list goes on and on and on.

Sometimes, it is best to savor one course at a time, with those you know best. And that is where my words went this morning.

I had a few emails that were begging to be written and thoughts that 'tasted best' when shared with one friend.

I still have many residual thoughts left over but Real Life is encroaching upon the minutes I have left over. I guess I should have utilized that twenty minutes that I found at the beginning of my day, to do more than think.

Once the day gets rolling and my thoughts get interrupted on a minute-by-minute basis, in my role of the Only Adult Among Children, time for reflection is a rarity. So I take it when I can.

This morning, as I thought my own thoughts, I was at peace. I was eager to face the day ahead of me. I woke up in a place of giving. I had taken care of myself first (sleep! and quiet, reflective-time) and I jumped out of bed with an energy force I don't always feel.

It is hard to know the exact formula for 'Feeling Your Best Self'.

Presently, the weight of my Family Book Project has been lessening, as I have dealt with it more. My advice? Spend five minutes of your day dealing with that-which-has-been-weighing-heaviest-on-your-mind. Sometimes five minutes is too much. Try to do it anyway.

I know it is hard. Hey, it is down right impossible sometimes. If it is impossible, do not spend any energy beating yourself up over it. It is a waste of time and energy. Spend that energy forgiving yourself. The end. You will do it another day. This is coming from someone who took six years to do something that could have just as easily been wrapped up in six months or a year. Could have...

Something was gained by waiting. This book has become more than it would have been if I had rushed it. Don't rush that-which-is-begging-not-to-be-rushed. Believe there is a purpose behind the delay. But do try to take bite sized pieces off the bigger picture. Make your best effort to just do what you can do without resenting it. Resentment can be tasted, felt, read and heard.

Anita Moorjani sums it up best: "When service comes from the center of our being, it’s the highest form of self-love. We know this is the case when we feel joy while serving. It will even feel light and fun! This uplifts both us and the recipient and helps to elevate the receiver’s self worth."

Have fun with your day. It doesn't have to be "Happy" or "Good" or "Perfect" or "Exciting". Just give it your best effort, applaud yourself for 'doing hard things' and make it 'good enough'.

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