Thursday, November 20, 2014

At Ground Zero

Although I pay off my credit card every month, my balance owing is a revolving one. I already have new charges racked up before I receive my statement. So even though the balance is paid in full, it is never at zero.

An interesting new phenomenon has happened the past few weeks. My credit card has stayed out of action a little bit more than usual, I paid a little bit extra (not knowing what the upcoming few months have in store financially) and my balance is sitting nice and still. At 'zero'.

Zero is my most favorite number.

I like need to 'balance to zero' in all things. Penny outages do not exist in my bank book. If I am out two cents, I look for it. In my bookkeeping world, perfection in numbers is attainable and necessary. When dealing with my family's reunion and history book funds, I was meticulous in my bookkeeping and I couldn't rest easy until I had my books balanced to zero from every which way I looked at them.

Zero is my rest and restart number.

You balance to zero and start all over again. Numbers and life are not static. They are ever-changing and evolving. Some days and months peak and others run at a deficit. But in the end, when all is right in the world, it balances back to zero.

Zero is where I am at right now.

I looked at the 'zero' balance on my credit card statements and I felt at peace. There has been much activity on those cards lately. They reflect what is going on in within my world. With much spending, comes much activity. Whether the money is spent on things seen or unseen, that rocky credit card balance tells me I am buying gas for the car, groceries for our cupboards, dining out with friends, feeding and taking care of our cat's needs and the needs of our home and the people within it.

I feel like 'all is tended to' at the moment.

My need for quiet, to rest and recharge has been running at a deficit for a while. Three days ago, I hit a crescendo and I could go no further. I stopped. Thankfully 'the world' stopped with me. Two uncommitted evenings at home (with many more in the future) reset the tenuous balance of 'too much' versus 'not enough'. I am balancing somewhere in the middle right now and loving every moment of it.

All is right with my world. I'm sitting back at ground zero again.

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