I'm not sure if I have ever hit a wall with my writing, the way I have this past month. I sit here and stare at the blank screen in front of me and wonder what in the world is worth writing about.
Usually I find little trinkets throughout the day which have little-to-no-meaning until I spin a little story around a non-event. Lately, I seem to be looking at the world through gray-colored lenses. Everything feels tinged with sadness. Or guilt. Or regret.
I am quite certain this is just a phase that will run its course and I'll be done with it. I've felt this way before. I'm sure I'll feel it again.
One time was during the time of great upheaval in my work-world. But even then, I was so busy trying to convince 'the world' (and myself) that I was finding great value and learning a lot of good lessons during that time, that I still found (and wrote about) the little nuggets of goodness within a bad situation.
This time, I feel like I have jumped on a bandwagon that I never wanted to be on. I have joined the party where people talk about sadness, ill health, death and dying, hopelessness and despair. I have become 'one of them'.
I know life is not all butterflies and daisies. I know sad things happen to happy people. I know reality isn't pretty. But I really want to shift my focus.
I want to find the joy buried underneath the sorrow. I want to find the happy within a sad moment. I want to sit and stare into my predictable little life and find flowers and sunshine during our stark, white winter wonderland out there.
I know I need to sit on the doorstep and stare upwards into a blue sky and see a glimmer of coming events.
I know spring is coming. A month from now the days will be almost two hours longer than they are today. No matter what Old Man Winter throws our way, he can not take away the added daylight hours.
We all need a little more sunshine in our days.
If you can't run away to Vegas for the weekend, I highly recommend finding your blue sky and sunny disposition in your surroundings.
Look for joy in the unlikeliest of places.
Set out to make a small difference in one person's day.
Count your blessings.
Find laughter and lightheartedness in whatever tickles your funny bone. A comedy on TV; watching kitten videos; tuning into your favorite comedian; calling up a friend who shares your odd sense of humor.
I have a day full of two and three year olds ahead of me. No matter how frustrating (and long) some days may seem, there is always (always!!) a moment of innocence which brings a smile to my heart. Sometimes it is simply my choice not to sit quietly and notice.
Today is a day I will grab a notepad and write down the little things that make me smile. I will report back tomorrow.
Today is the day I look for spring and sunshine right in my own back yard!