Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Cat Conspiracy

A recent burst of kitchen-cleaning was spurred on by a little conspiracy Junior and Senior Cat seem to have figured out amongst themselves.

Senior Cat hasn't been interested in his special renal cat food health diet lately. It started in and around the time I started going away a little too regularly. My Youngest Son fed Senior cat treats instead of the soft (renal/health) cat food after giving Senior his pill. Soon thereafter, I noticed Senior didn't really enjoy his soft food any more and he wasn't eating the dry (healthy) food very much either.

One day I caught Senior Cat downstairs sneaking Junior's special gastrointestinal diet cat food (which won't hurt him, it just won't help him either) with a guilty look on his face. Soon thereafter, Senior's hard food started disappearing again so I thought he was nibbling away on it when I wasn't watching so I was pleased.

One morning I heard an enthusiastic game of Cat Food Hockey taking place in the kitchen. Sure enough, Junior had found one of Senior's healthy cat food pellets and was handling it with the grace and finesse of Wayne Gretzky. So I took the "puck" away from him and went back to my business. Then I heard it again. I stopped the game again. And again. And again. And again. And again!

I had to put a bowl over Senior's cat food to stop Junior Cat from sneaking out more "pucks" to play with.

This happened every morning for about four or five days in a row. Throughout this time, I found a few cat food nuggets under the mat at the back door. The mat must have been the "net" and when Junior scored a goal, he would just go back and grab another puck.

Yesterday morning, I thought I'd quickly sweep the kitchen floor and I found six cat food nuggets. I pulled out the drawers where I keep paper, etc in the kitchen and found two more. I fished under the baseboard in the kitchen and found another two. Then I pulled out the stove and found nineteen more!

This is when I figured out there is a Cat Conspiracy going on behind my back.

Not only has Senior Cat been teaching Junior how to snuggle (after 1-1/2 years with us, Junior Cat has finally figured out the fine art of resting atop a human) and being a bigger support to Junior than we ever realized (we took Junior Cat to get his nails clipped without his senior partner in cathood last week and Junior was very stressed without his best black cat-buddy in the cat carrier with him - I think he thought THIS was the time we were going to drop him off somewhere and abandon him), I think these guys have been whispering to each other when we haven't been looking. I can hear it now:

Senior Cat: I can't eat another bite of this Health Food Diet. Junior, will you eat it for me??
Junior Cat: (very enthusiastically) Okay!!
(Junior tries a bite and spits it out in disgust. Then bats it away so he doesn't have to look at it)
Junior Cat: That food is disgusting, but I can brush up my paw-handling skills with these things. Every time I score, you score! They'll think YOU are eating this stuff!

Thus, the game of Cat Food Hockey was born.

The fridge is too full to try and move it today. I'll wait until our milk supply is depleted and then I'll clean under the fridge. If there were nineteen nuggets under the stove, do you care to wager how many will be under the fridge??? I am certain you have time to guess before I get the fridge moved.

Hey!! Do you hear this?!?? I am cleaning under the stove and fridge! Not only have these cats conspired to make me think Senior Cat is eating his healthy cat food, they are tricking me into house cleaning!!!

Ahhh, it all makes sense now. That explains all the throwing up on the carpet. Hmmm. These cats are getting a little too smart for me.

Not only did this Cat Conspiracy move me off the computer chair, it got some nonsensical words flowing again. I'll take it!

Outsmarted by my two black kitties. They not only helped me do some housecleaning, they helped me with my writer's block. 

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