It is really no wonder that it is taking a while to feel like I am making a difference, as I have started to try and find my way out of the excess which has amassed within our home over the course of the past six to ten years or so.
It happens ever so slowly and gradually. You accumulate something new and continue to hold onto everything you already have. Please tell me I am not the only one who does this. I know one should develop the habit of "out with the old" when you acquire something new.
I have had so very many excuses over the course of time.
I was too busy. I was writing a book. I went to school. I was too stressed from a new job. Too many kids. Too many jobs. Too many responsibilities. Too tired. Too lazy. Too busy living my life.
Yup, I used all of the aforementioned excuses and I'm sure I invented many more. I live in a bubblewrapped world where my supportive people agree with me and gently pat me on the shoulder saying "There, there. It is okay. Of course you can't do it all!"
Looking backwards, I can see that I really did make some good choices along the way. My life will be much more interesting when I start repeating my stories if they aren't all about cleaning. Yes. That is yet another excuse that I am quite certain I used somewhere along the way.
I'm grateful that cleaning, decluttering and sorting through the rubble of one's home doesn't dominate my life. But perhaps it would be wise for me to get back in the habit of puttering, so slowly but surely I start to see the light again.
That was what yesterday afternoon was all about. You can stop reading now because this is where I insert the details that no one really cares about.
I woke up early yesterday and did all of the "hard things" that I hadn't had time for all week.
I typed up our family's recipes and submitted them for our upcoming family reunion's cookbook. Whew! That felt very good to put behind me.
I did up my second son's book work. Another pesky little job that takes no time at all but kept getting pushed to the wayside last week.
I had one last look at everyone's income taxes, since the tax assessments were mailed to us last week. So far, so good. It is looking like I did a decent job with what I knew and what I did. Time will tell if Revenue Canada agrees with me or not.
I forwarded an email from our family reunion committee to the family. A quick little job but it felt so very rewarding to send it off and take it off my to-do-plate.
I sat down at the kitchen table and wrote Mom's weekly letter. It felt so good to sit still with a cup of coffee and hand write her letter. It is so much easier and faster to type. But the gift of some cat stationary which was not only lined but also a perfectly manageable size of paper made that little task feel like fun.
It was 3:20 in the afternoon by the time I finally finished up my Friday Daycare Blog post. Then I had a little daycare business to tend before I could officially wrap up last week's unfinished business pile.
Then ... I started puttering.
One thing led to another, then another and another and another! I started with arranging a few things in the extra drawer in the new three drawer filing cabinet I purchased last week, which led to reorganizing another place where I have stationary items in the kitchen, which led me to the spare bedroom where our family book project and reunion clutter was never ever dealt with, which led me to finding items to donate, which led to the other spare bedroom downstairs where some of our excess has gone to pile up and die, which led to vacuuming the playroom downstairs, which led to reshuffling the toy selection upstairs for the upcoming week, which led to forgetting about supper.
It was 8:00 when I heard my son rifling through the cupboards to find himself some nourishment. I said, "I suppose supper would be a good idea, huh?" He agreed.
I had absolutely no brain cells which were in the mood to think about what I could scrounge up for supper. I just told him to tell me what he wanted and I would make it appear. Perogies and hot dogs. Okay! Perogies and hot dogs, it was.
I sat down at the end of a very productive day with my Pizza Pops and ginger ale and simply felt good.
The house does not look one tiny bit different. But it feels better.
I have barely made a chip in this iceberg, but I did make one nick out of a very, very big chunk of it.
I woke up this morning remembering little snippets of thoughts and wisdom of others, which I had found along my travels these past few days, rising to my consciousness.
I found a window within the clutter I sorted through and I feel a wisp of fresh air entering our home and my mind.
It is small but it is so big. I am starting to feel just a little bit of the weight lifting off my shoulders.
I read this several days ago and though I forgot the words, I remembered the essence of them as I lived out this past weekend.
"Your home is not only your safe haven, it is a reflection of your consciousness. Whatever is going on in your mind will be reflected in the conditions of your home. To achieve balance and clarity in your life, you must have a solid, clean foundation. Your home and the conditions in which you live are a good place to start." ~ Iyanla Vanzant
I am digging myself out. It isn't going to happen over night but one small shovelful at a time I will make a small impact. No one else in the world may notice a difference. But I will. And for now, that is all that matters.