Holidaying is hard work. There doesn't seem to be enough time in the days to do all I want to do and still have any waking hours left in me.
I guess I am accustomed to cramming all that needs-to-be-done into the hours of 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., then when my daycare day ends, so do I.
In my regularly scheduled life, I do what must be done and then I rest. I love the "resting" part of my day. It is my light at the end of the tunnel. It drives and propels me. I do what I have to do, so I can sit still at the end of the day.
It is a simple life, but it is mine and I love it.
That is why I am amazed and astounded that my holiday-at-home seems so far removed from my regular daycare day.
Accomplishing tasks throughout the day is rather invigorating and motivating. One thing leads to another. And another. And another.
It is intoxicating. It is also rather expensive.
I have concentrated my efforts in one room. It is the only room in the house where I am not distracted by "life", a TV, a computer or kids. It is one area where life's distractions don't follow me. A cat or two? Perhaps. But for the most part, it is the one place where I sit and stare at the walls without distraction.
It seemed like a very good place to start. It is small but not without many nooks, crannies and corners. I am not doing a full-fledged reno. I have hired a painter and he will tend to the stuff I cannot do. While he is here, he said he could replace the light, taps and change out any of the towel racks, etc.
Just like the work we did outside on the weekend. To anyone else, I am doing what should have been done all along. It is nothing big, extravagant or room-altering. It is simply "maintenance". What I should have been doing all along.
It is small. It is expensive. But most importantly, it is a start.
Getting stuck in one place involves a lot of energy. You tend to "should", "could" and "would" yourself to death and nothing changes.
It is far more empowering to do one little thing in a forward direction.
Fortunately I seem to think my cash flow can afford it right now. For the longest time, my finances were in too much of a precarious state.
A sane person may say I am still far from a place where I should be spending money I don't have to fund my need for order within my home. A sane person may simply scrub and nickel and dime their spending to make a little go a long way.
I never claimed to be sane. But I do feel ever so much more ambitious and motivated now that I have taken that first step in the direction I want to go.