I know I need to quiet the world around me so I can hear what I'm thinking. I have created a "noisy" life filled with Internet distractions, the TV and music.
At the end of one of my daycare days, I had only my new little one-year-old for (almost) the last hour of the day. I brought up a different selection of toys for her to investigate. I realize now, that none of them were noise-makers. She would pick one toy up at a time and play with it until her curiosity was satisfied then peek into the bucket and bring out one more. She wandered in and out of the living room as I sat on the floor and just observed. It was wonderful.
Yesterday morning, I sat on the couch with a cup of coffee and quietly waited for my daycare day to arrive. No music, no computer, no TV. Just me, a cup of coffee and our cats.
I was gazing absent-mindedly at nothing in particular when I glanced over and noticed one of our cats sitting across the room, watching me. I have really never taken the time to appreciate that our cats may be watching us just as much as we watch them. It was a moment that tugged at my heart strings. Oh, to be the subject of a cat's attention for no reason what-so-ever. This is what it feels like to be loved.
I sat still a little longer and that same cat jumped up onto the bookcase with his buddy. Their tails crossed, then flicking back and forth, yet still touching. Always touching. I was mesmerized by this little quiet interplay among our cats who don't speak, yet say so much.
I wanted to sit still in the quiet and just revel in a wordless hour or two. But my day walked in and my quiet bubble burst all over my face and it was gone.
I am aching for something right now. I feel guilty about pretty much everything under the sun. I don't even know what I'm thinking.
I have to find myself, for I am lost. I think I'm going to light a candle and sit quietly in the dark until my day walks in. I may only have a few minutes but I will make the most of them.
May you savor a quiet moment today. Carve out just a little piece of time to be still and see how it feels.