I cannot believe how energized one becomes by "doing" instead of "not doing".
I have spent the better part of the past year (and I have done this many times before this year) putting off until forever, what I could start today. I have chastised myself for this time and time again. Each time I do something productive, I give myself that little pep talk I always do and convince myself "never" to procrastinate again. Well, we all know how that goes, don't we? Oh, we don't? Oh.
Anyway, I came home from my workday away from home Saturday night and couldn't wait to finish my supper so I could get started with my plan.
I know myself well enough to know that once I start something, I will finish it. So I started.
All I did was shuffle some rooms around. But in the process, six rooms were impacted, I have a pile of items to give-away/throw-away/or sell and our world feels bright and shiny and new-to-us.
My daycare family walked in this morning and were quite thrilled with the look of their new world. The living room basically looks like a daycare zone and almost nothing is off limits. They still can't stand or jump on the furniture, touch the plant or climb in the cupboards. We do need some rules. But it is an almost entirely "yes" zone. We will shift and change things as we go along but I was pleased with the reactions of my young little family.
Our nap zones have almost entirely changed. We are a half hour into our nap/quiet time and things have gone very well. My new little one, who has not been sleeping long or soundly since she started coming here, drifted off quietly and almost immediately. I panicked when I realized that her playpen was parked directly in front of a closet that held one little guy's "special blanket". So I gingerly went in, dragged her playpen out of the way, climbed over the bed so I could access the closet, opened and closed the closet door, then dragged her playpen back to where it was. And she never moved a muscle!! Hooray!! My good day became even better.
I woke up in my brand new bedroom and enjoyed my slightly revised morning ritual. I brought a set of clothes upstairs with me so I'd be ready to hop in the tub and get ready after I had a chance to relax and absorb the morning. I took my morning smoothie and cup of coffee with me, into the "office" room.
The computer desk ended up moving out of the living room as well as the TV, so there was NO hum of electronics in the background of our day. There is something incredibly peaceful about spending time in a room without a TV or a computer! Mind you, I have a laptop computer so it has spent some time in the kitchen and is now with me as I sit and type and listen to the deep, heavy breathing of children sleeping (my favorite sound in the world, after the sound of a cat's purr).
I have not spent the morning checking emails or peeking at this, that or the other thing on the computer. We read a few books after lunchtime today and then we moved into our new TV/quiet activity room (formerly known as "my room" and revised from TV/play room to TV/quiet room).
I must admit this morning was not our typical morning because we had some unexpected adult (YAY!!) company which diverted the kid's energy and attention and created more fun than our new living room had, in the hour prior. But I feel different. There is something about the "feng shui" of things that has rebooted this tired old house (and by extension, this tired old me). I spent the weekend moving instead of thinking; doing instead of procrastinating; working with what I had instead of buying something new. Everything I needed was right under my own roof. Everything!
Instead of the change initiating a spending frenzy, I have accumulated a corner full of "excess belongings" to dispose of. The mere act of (starting to) empty the house of excess has given me the feeling that I am allowing more to enter. That is what I think I am feeling the most. The act of purging is energizing me from the inside, out and I feel like I am making room for something new or change or simply contentment with what we already have. It is intoxicating!
I embraced this feeling all morning. My heart is happy and full and content. Who knew shuffling some rooms around could create something so incredible?
Then I finally sat down to check my emails when life segued into nap time. And do you know what I found? A parent who had asked about an opening in my daycare last week (and was partially responsible for this whole feeling the need to shuffle things around to make room for one more) finally got back to me. The lack of response which I took as "No" ended up being "Incredibly busy and then sick". She wants to come meet us at the end of the week.
I made room for one more and look what happened!
Maybe that is why I've been so busy procrastinating. Maybe I have not been ready for "more" or "change" or "new" before this. Maybe, just maybe I needed this time. Who knows? I am so used to making excuses for myself that anything at this point just feels like one more excuse.
I was finally ready to start moving and my world feels like it is shifting on its axis. It's a whole new world in here. And it didn't cost a penny.