Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Fading Fast

I woke up in the middle of the night last night (falling asleep at 7:00 tends to do that to a person) with thoughts that were wide awake. Once I snapped myself out of my dream state, I tuned into my real life thoughts and they did not lull me back to sleep. I do remember counting down the days until December 31st. "Sixteen more days ... and then I can relax!" Then I resorted to turning on the TV to tune out my thoughts. It worked like a charm.

I slept in an extra hour to make up for that hour of wakefulness and here I am.

I have no idea why I'm counting down the days until I can "relax". I live the most relaxing, unstressful life of anyone I know. If I didn't create my own stress, I would have none at all.

For me, my biggest worry is "to color or not to color". I have one more hair-washing day before Christmas. Do I invest the extra time to dye my roots or just show up with a few extra shades of gray? I would normally wait one more month but I'll be out of the house and seeing so many more people over the Christmas holiday. I feel like I should look like I care about my appearance. I should probably book a hair cut too but I won't. I have no desire to sit and waste a few hours out of the house in a hair salon.

A pedicure however, is very tempting. Something just for me, that doesn't make one bit of difference to my outside appearance but makes me feel better inside.

I just walked away from this post to make myself another cup of coffee and thought of Mom doing her Christmas baking this year. I abandoned that tradition several years ago. People don't associate "me" with "food" in any capacity and I kind of like it that way. Instead, I walked over to my list and wrote down "Bulk Barn". Yes, I think I'll pick up some candies to go in our candy dishes over the holidays. Maybe I'll do that while I'm out getting a pedicure.

Yes, I still have some cards to write and a daycare newsletter to create. But that isn't "stress" to me. It is sitting still and letting my thoughts and words run wild. I enjoy those days. I simply don't like to cram them into the cracks of an otherwise occupied day.

I'm looking forward to seeing people I don't normally get a chance to visit. I'm looking forward to some time off. I'm looking forward to wrapping myself up in family and coasting through the season. I'm also looking forward to being back home, sitting in the stillness and reflecting on all I have enjoyed throughout the season and beyond.

I (sort of) can't wait until it's all over.

Scrooge of Christmas Present

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