I think I'm getting my days and nights mixed up. I remember that quiet morning time that I used to savor. I would get up before the birds so I could hold onto it as long as possible before the real world walked in my door. That quiet time is not anywhere near long enough any more. Even on a Sunday. I don't seem to be doing mornings very effectively any more.
Evenings are a different story. I feel like I have been turning over a new leaf.
I have left the house after supper four nights within the past week. I went to a movie. I went out for supper and a deep, reflective conversation. I went out for coffee and felt like the friend I used to think I was. I went out to talk to an accountant and could have walked out the door with a potential bookkeeping job. But that is not what I've come here to write about.
After each one of these outings, I came home and felt "alive". I didn't want to crawl into my pajamas and shut down. I wanted to stay awake and enjoy simply feeling happy, fulfilled and inspired. I cannot remember the last time I felt this happy after supper!
It is little stuff. A movie that made me think and stay awake far outside of my usual sleeping hours. Conversation where someone gets you, they really get you. A friendship where I felt like I was listening beyond the surface. A meeting of the minds where I felt like I have value.
I think I need a little diversity in my life and waking hours. Maybe I can sleep in a little and give myself an extra hour at the end of the day. Maybe my head is shifting time zones.
Today was a hard day. I wasn't my best self until I was in the home stretch of the day. Normally a day like this would have me in my pj's before I sat down to eat supper. Not today! Today I cooked us a healthy meal, freshened up and talked "income tax" with a professional. I didn't come home and start working with my numbers but I did make myself a cup of hot apple cider and celebrated feeling "human" at the end of a long day.
I may not make it back here tomorrow morning but I will do my best to come back when I'm alert and have time to finish a thought. Eventually, I hope some of those thoughts have a point. But for tonight, I will settle for finishing what I start before I walk away.
Maybe I'm turning into a night owl! Although this night owl is officially ready to call it a day. Maybe I'll be a 9:00 retiree ...