After a few years of controlling the weeds, our grass seems to have take over and choked out the weeds and it is looking the best it has looked since we moved here. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe I'm just looking at my world with green colored glasses. But I am very content with the way things look around here.
Yes, there is ongoing maintenance that must be taken care of. New eaves troughs and downspouts for the garage; the house and garage should be painted; the deck and fence could be oiled; and the shingles will need to be replaced sooner than later. This thing called "maintenance" is ongoing and is the bane of my existence.
I have always called our home just another one of my dependents. The sad part about this dependent is that it will never grow up and learn to sustain itself. Then again, maybe this place we call home is earning its keep.
Owning this home and being able to dictate how we use it has allowed me the privilege of being able to open my daycare and earn a living from home. My Internet connection has opened a door and allowed me to write out loud, earn a few dollars and make connections without ever having to take a step out of our home.
I have the luxury of feeling like my bedroom is the equivalent of a hotel suite. I cocoon myself within that little oasis. Every single night I close my eyes and there is something very peaceful that washes over me. That little space I get to call my own within this very "committed" house is all I could ever want.
My youngest son seems to feel the same way about his room. All he ever asked for was to have a window large enough to escape from, in case of fire. It took a while but that wish was finally granted. Not only does he have an escape route, he has two windows to allow more daylight into his downstairs bedroom. He asks for little and is content with what he has.
Our home houses my little daycare family more than sufficiently. I've turned the living room into the main playing zone and my hope to increase the playing area has been thwarted by the kids turning the "quiet room" into the "fighting room". They tend to go by the rule "If she can't see us, we can do what we want to do!" So the more concentrated our playing are, the better.
I would not want a house any larger than the one we have. I wouldn't want to clean, maintain or watch over children in an area any larger than this. I can't envision a space that would work any better for us, than the space we already own.
The only thing I long for is the time and resources to keep what I have clean, well maintained and keep everything we already own in good running condition. I don't need "fancy". I need practical. I don't want hard granite and tile surfaces. I want a "soft place to land" and like our carpet, arborite and vinyl surfaces. I don't need up-to-date and modern anything. I want comfortable and clean.
I love "window shopping" as we walk through our neighborhood and the neighborhoods that surround us. I can't remember the last time I wished for a house I didn't already own. Do I compare and contrast what I have to what others have? Definitely. Other than the fact that "what I have" needs a little maintaining, I want for nothing more.
The grass on the other side of the fence is kind of weedy and overgrown. The grass a few houses away looks pretty fine but I see the time it takes for it to look that way. I have the greenest grass I am capable of having with the least amount of time and input to maintain this look.
I don't have it all. But I have enough. I actually have more than enough. May I never stop feeling as grateful for that as I do this very moment and all the appreciative moments that have preceded it.
May you find your own sun beam and savor all you have in this very moment sometime today. Maybe "what you have" isn't exactly what you want, but it could be a "means to an end" or a temporary stopping ground. Find what it is to you and appreciate that. The more I placed this "grass is greener" scenario within different facets of what I felt as lacking within my world, the more I appreciated "What I have is what I need. Right now." Something to build on is still a very good place to start.
This post has been brought to you by "my very own back yard". This is the vista I have enjoyed while sitting out here in my very own personal sun beam as I wrote. May you find your own sun beam and savor all you have in this very moment some time today.