The week has tuckered me out. I'm ready for my holidays but those will have to wait two more weeks. Am I up to the challenge? I guess I have to be because there is really no other option.
The transition into daycare for a one year old is hard. I keep forgetting this. It's a little bit like labor. While my second son was being born, I sighed, "I forgot it hurt this much!" My doctor replied, "I do this for a living and I forgot too".
Yes, we forget the "hard" and remember the "present" so much in life.
Learning the ropes at a new job. It is one of my least favorite places in the world to be, but once I learn that job and it starts to come naturally and eventually I'm the one helping others, I tend to forget how hard it felt to get from "Point A" to "Point B".
I like being in a role where it feels like I do a decent job, help others along the way and make a small difference within my world. I love the feeling of putting in a good day's work and the reward is in the accomplishment, how I may have made another person feel and has nothing to do with the financial payback.
I love watching people doing a job they love to do. The job itself isn't important, it is the role that person is playing while doing their job. They light up their little corner of the universe and spread the light to those they touch. It is a beautiful sight.
I cringe at the thought of looking down upon my day and watching me do my work. I am not spreading joy. I am not lighting up my little people's day. I am not sparkling and shining and at the end of the day I always feel like I could have done better, done more and done something differently.
Whenever I take my young friends out for a walk, the two youngest get to ride in the double stroller and there is a place for everyone else to hold onto the stroller so I know everyone is safe and we are all walking together. I am pushing the weight of the two youngest and pulling the weight of whoever is holding onto the stroller. It is hard work and it simulates my day. The constant pushing and pulling of various needs, wants and personalities is just as hard or harder than pushing that stroller.
I guess I need to find a way to make the journey a little more enjoyable so everyone wants to pull their own weight and perhaps even help propel us in a forward direction. Or maybe we don't need to GO anywhere at all. Maybe all we need is right here at our fingertips and we just need to reshuffle, relook and rebuild what we have right here at home so we can see the fun in being "just where we are".
Today's crew consists of a one year old who is teething and not loving a lot of the moments he is "in". He is accompanied by his 3-1/2 year old brother who wants to be anywhere but where he is at. Add to that, a happy-go-lucky little 1-1/2 year old who loves every moment and latches onto them with a sense of joy I wish I could bottle up so I could "buy" some of what she has when I need it the most. And lastly, a little 2-1/2 year old little guy who is joyful but does not have a strong sense of his own personality, so adopts and inhabits the personalities of his playmates.
I think I want "Joy" to take the lead today. I want to turn today into one of those "hard mornings" that I forget I even had by the end of a day that turns into a "gift".
One moment at a time. That is all we are truly given so that is really the only way to live these days. I need to stay in the moment and focus. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? Sure! Let's all do this. One. Moment. At. A. Time.