Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Gorilla Tape and Tabasco Sauce

It is interesting to think of this house of ours not having to be a daycare zone in the near future. I can't afford to dream big things and my biggest challenge is to simply clean and reorganize what I have. But oh, what a treat it is to dream again.

[Queue light and dreamy music here ... then interrupt that music with the sound of a record needle scratching across a record].

Stop the music! I may not have kids but I still have two rather frisky and somewhat destructive cats.

Presenting evidence for the court:

One would think the five broken slats would allow a cat to peek out the window, but oh no. Said culprit who broke the aforementioned slats is caught in the act:

New kitchen blinds in our future? The question would be "Why?"

The evidence in the picture below has been covered with half a roll of Gorilla duct tape. So far the cats have not been able to infiltrate the strength of this super strength tape. There is no "before" picture but suffice to say, you could see the frame of the back of this chair and the threads of the fabric were hanging on for dear life. 

New kitchen chairs in our future? Perhaps if they were of a "Gorilla" brand.

The holes in this rug in the front door closet  appeared out of no where. The closet door is always open so it isn't from wear and tear. The kids are not allowed to play in that area ("It's too dirty" I tell them). I have seen NO ONE causing these holes. We either have mice or carpet termites (I just invented them) or else one or two bored black cats roam the house in search of something to destroy while we sleep. 

Is this worth replacing? The jury is still out on that one.

This is the rug by the back door:

Same rug, but by the sliding door into the kitchen:

I bought a back door mat to replace this two years ago but have been waiting for our cats to outgrow this "kitten habit" before I replace it. The back door mat continues to worsen while its replacement has served us well as a small carpeted play area while it holds its title of "Heir to the 
Throne Back Door Mat". The question is "Who will gain the title to that their throne first? Prince Charles? Or our Door Mat in waiting?

Speaking of the back door, when you open said door this is what awaits you. Let the records show this is BRAND NEW weather stripping. I think it has lost its "R" value due to one black cat's dietary need to chew on black weatherstripping:

Will this be replaced? I must make that call soon. Yes. The answer is yes. Immediately upon replacing it, I plan on brushing Tabasco sauce onto it. My cousin tells me this worked for his cat. I must contact my cousin to find more tips and tricks to outwit our cats.

Follow the steps by the back door and you will find this: 
Yes, the culprit has confessed to the crime. I submit his paws as evidence. This is Ray's special thing. He likes the feeling of wood under his claws. Anyone have a spare 4 X 4 we can give him? Oh yes, and they both enjoy honing their claws on the carpeting on the stairs. I don't even try any more. It's theirs.

Milliseconds before I took this picture, Jet was enjoying his new favorite hobby. He picks at the weatherstripping at the bottom of the front door (door sweep? I don't know what it is called). It makes a delightful "snapping" sound as he claws at the end which is not completely attached and it snaps back against the door. Jet likes his doors "OPEN". Once the doors are opened, he walks away and is happy. He doesn't want to look out the doors. He simply wants them OPEN. 

Another secure strip of packing tape may do the trick. Then again, maybe this is a job for the Gorilla tape.

Who are the suspects? One clue. They don't walk on two legs. I have witnesses who claim these are the culprits:


Wanted for: 
Weather stripping rustling, carpet destroying and furniture destruction

CLAWED AND DANGEROUS - approach with catnip

Yes, times are changing around here. Our home will soon be stripped of its daycare identity. But the hard truth remains. Two cats with claws of mass destruction continue to hide in the shadows. No new furniture is in our future. That is, unless there is a brand of Gorilla Furniture that can withstand the damage these two fur balls can dish out. 

Gorilla tape and Tabasco sauce are an integral part of our future.

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