Thursday, August 15, 2013

Subconscious Thoughts

I'm tired this morning. I woke up in the middle of a very strange and complex dream which wove characters of my past into my subconscious thoughts.

Scenes from my dream: 
  • Brother-in-law asks me: "How much weight have you gained?!?!" 
  • Another brother-in-law absolutely snaps when I ask how he is (and I really want to know the answer). 
  • My sister-in-law works at her hair and pretties herself up and doesn't agree when I suggest we have a 'hair and nail' day (and she could make me pretty too). 
  • Father-in-law is going crazy trying to figure out the noise that is in their house since our arrival
  • Grandmother-in-law insists My Youngest bring an envelope with him when we come (and fills it with cash)
  • Ex-husband talks about all the money he is making and how disgusted he is with girls who are attracted to his money
  • Mother-in-law is in the background scenes but is not part of the dialogue
Yes. These scenes-from-my-dream consist of an entire cast and crew from my ex-husband's family. Weird. Especially the part about my brother-in-law asking if I want to take the leftover McDonald's fries home with me and I tell him (after they fall all over the floor by the back door) that even I have my limits.

What is going on in my subconscious mind?!? I thought I was worried about bed bugs, our Senior Cat's health and my budget. 

I knew that my expanding waist line was on my mind. I'm so glad that it made it into my dream sequence. Oh, and my present day ultra-short haircut explains my wish for my sister-in-law to make me pretty. Now that I think of it, I have a wish that my Second Son would get a financial break to help their dreams along. Oh yes, then there is my long standing addiction to McDonald's. I guess a lot of it makes sense after all.

Oh, the complex trappings of our minds. It is a very tangled web in there. It is all intertwined and interconnected. 

Our emotions, reactions and longings come from a place deep inside of us. When I am find myself overreacting to life's small stuff, I can almost always (eventually) find my way to the source of my emotional breaking point. Whether it reflects something I don't like about myself or guilt or a combination of those and many other things, my answers are almost always within my own thought processes.

When I wake up out of a dream state, it starts my day with a weariness that I wish wasn't there. I like when my subconscious mind speaks to me. I just wish it would have done so long before my alarm went off... 

No comments:

Post a Comment