I miss the part of myself who takes time to be still and let words freefall from my fingertips.
I miss long walks.
I miss being still with nature.
I miss my own pep talks.
I miss ... me.
Life is full of commitments, big and small. The drudgery of doing-what-must-be-done. Work. Being in a state of "on" as one navigates the world.
I come home from my day, immediately put on my PJ's, settle in front of the TV and savor the quiet hum and light emitted from the digital display. I have heard this is the equivalent of sitting down in front of a fire and I'm going with that. It appeases my soul to believe losing myself to an hour of television at the end of a committed day is good for me. The snacking food I opt to add into this equation? That's on me.
If I'm not eating, moving or talking I fall asleep. I was missing out on the little pieces of enjoyment I used to savor when I decided to banish myself from mindless eating in front of the TV, reading or at the computer. My clothes sure fit better when I was eating "intentionally". I believe I even felt better.
I have slipped back into old habits the past few months. Doing what it takes to get through the day. Rewarding myself with mindless eating in front of my "virtual fire" (aka: TV). I'm fine. But I could be better.
I needed to read a little pep talk from myself.
As much as one thinks one may want advice, the only person who is in control of one's actions, thinking and motivation is yourself.
I needed to hear my own words circled back to me and describe the me I most enjoy being.
What is your inner voice telling you? What do you know that no one else can tell you? Personally? I think I need to go for a nice, long walk. Would you like to join me?
