I'm geared up and ready for the week. After an extra long weekend, I should have so much more to show for my time off. But all I can say is I rested, relaxed, mowed the lawn and vacuumed the house. That is it. That is all I have to say for myself.
I seem to be living life in a "Ready, Set, Go!" mode this past long while.
I've been keeping on top of the my own and the cat's needs and supplies, the house is as maintained as one week allows, my suitcase is perpetually half packed and ready to go, I've been keeping on top of the car's maintenance, meters are read and I'm always on top of the bills and obligations.
I am as ready for "life" as one can be.
I look to each week ahead of me as yet another week simply to be endured...
This isn't living. This isn't a life. Living in a state of preparedness is okay. But there must be more. There has to be more.
I'll go and put in this week and see what I can find at the end of it. The light at the end of the tunnel. The weekend at the end of the week.
I think I used to feel happier than this. I must be missing something in my "Ready, Set, Go!" state of mind.
I miss counting ladybugs for a living. Little people were exhausting. But they were so life affirming. Youth and energy. I miss it more than I ever thought I would.