Holidays

I have been relaxing like I have never relaxed before ...

Usually my holidays were busy doing all of the things that I couldn't do when I had a house full of kids. My daycare world allowed me a lot of leeway in the puttering-around-the-house-and-yard department ... but I was tethered to home like a dog on a short leash. When holiday time came around, I was busy running around and enjoying my freedom.

I'm a planner. So if I had 10 days of holidays, somehow I would manage to book up 9 of those days. Fun stuff. Visiting ... lots and lots of visiting. Time to go to a movie with My Youngest and shop where he may want to shop. Lots of take out meals and few (if any) home cooked meals.

My holidays have always been exactly what I wanted and needed. My definition of a holiday is doing whatever it may be, that you can't do during your regularly scheduled life.

I guess my life has changed. A lot. Because this is the quietest holiday that I can remember having in a very, very long time. It has also been the least expensive.

As my December budget still has a few more days to go and January's doesn't look much brighter, my spending has been sparse. But I haven't felt as though I've sacrificed anything.

I don't feel like spending. I am full from within. I am not actively seeking company (but I can still hold up my end of a conversation ... I still love to talk!). I am enjoying my own company.

Everything I need and want are within my walls (except I do need to replenish the grocery supply soon). It is a very fulfilling sensation.

I have been slowly adding activities back into my holiday-life. One day I washed a load of clothes. Another day I turned on the dishwasher. The third day, I emptied the dishwasher.

Yesterday, I packed 'Christmas' away until next year. Today, I plan to tackle my book keeping for a portion of the day (I am not going into hyper drive mode ... I am not!).

I have a feeling that once these holidays are over, I'll be running. There will be the upcoming dance competition to prepare for ... I will be placing expectations on myself at school ... I will be cramming in as much book keeping as I possibly can, because I will be taking several days off in February. The next few months are going to be hectic.

So for now ... I shall relax and savor every moment.

Wordless

It's amazing. Truly, it is ... but I seem to be at a loss for words.

Words have been spent writing Christmas greetings ... doing some Christmas socializing ... and internally trying to work the magic of Christmas into my thinking.

But now that The Day has come and gone, I am grateful to be silent.

I've said all I've had to say for the moment. My mind is an empty canvas.

So, I shall go and paint a new mural within my mind for the year ahead. I think that it's going to be an eventful year. In more ways than I could ever imagine.

I'm going to spend yet another quiet day at home. On holidays. Relaxing like I have never relaxed before.

It's okay to be without words for a while. But just watch out! They are bound to come back with a vengeance.

Who's Your Mother?

I really, really struggled with gift ideas this year.

It seems that most people buy what they want or need, so there are few perfectly practical gifts any more. What happened to the days where socks and gloves were the perfect thing to toss into a gift? Practical.

There are two ends to the 'money spectrum'. Either a person has more than enough money and can (and does) buy everything they want. Or else a person is so far in debt, that any gift of cash evaporates into the abyss of debt and easy spending.

Gifting a small cash token to either one of these extremes seems futile. But I still try ...

I asked my Second Son for gift ideas for his older brother. He has very particular tastes and to try to find something that wouldn't automatically get tossed into a pile and forgotten, seemed impossible. After some thought, he suggested that I bake some of My Oldest's favorite cookies and treats. Now this is the ultimate sacrifice for me. I am not a baker. I can do it, and if I'm in the right frame of mind things usually turn out. But if I'm in a sour mood, watch out!!

I was in a fine mood last week and baked several items. I sent this baking home with My Oldest, giving credit to His Younger Brother for the idea. I would say that the gift went over well.

I was still at a loss as to what to do for My Second Son. Again, any monetary gift is lost in the abyss of spending. So I came up with an idea and considered that the financial part of my gift. But what else could I do? What did I have to offer that could be of benefit for him?

I finally came up with the perfect idea. It involved the same (or greater) self sacrifice that baking for His Brother entailed. That's when you know it is a good gift - when it hurts a little bit to give.

My Second Son is in the process of moving out of his suite. He has a good portion of the moving done but still has a final (large) load to be packed up and stored. Then there is the cleaning involved ...

Ahhh! Cleaning!! I can do that! I enjoy it about as much as enjoy baking, so I knew that it was the perfect gift to offer.

Last night, I made my offer. I didn't quite understand the hesitation that my Second Son communicated. So I reiterated my offer ... saying that I could clean the fridge, stove, bathroom ... Again, he paused. I guessed that it wasn't such a good idea after all.

Then he told me the reason for his lack of appreciation. He had already done it! As he emptied his fridge, he cleaned it. As he moved all of his bathroom supplies, he cleaned the bathroom as well. He said that it is part of what he does when he is at work. When you finish with an area, clean it up so that you don't have to return to it later.

I was amazed. This is a man speaking. And we are talking about cleaning a house - not a work site. But ... he had it all under control.

I asked, "Who is your mother???" Am I in any way responsible for this work ethic??

I stood a little taller, thinking that no matter who is responsible for my Second Son's organizational skills, he is my son! And I'm proud of him.

But that still leaves the good deed portion of my gift unfulfilled. I guess I'll have to give him a rain cheque ...

The Best Gift of All

This is the year ...

That I got everything I wanted for Christmas.

My family.

We've travelled a long and winding road

But it's been worth every twist and turn

To end up at this destination.

Life is about contrasts ...

We wouldn't appreciate what we have

If we didn't have the alternate

To compare it to.

My three sons ...

Individual in their personalities

Unique in the way they see the world

Decades apart in years

But united by blood.

My family united ...

This feeling is the best gift in the world.

"Thank you"

Gifts

The best gifts of all, are the ones that are given freely and without forethought.

The gift of a favor to someone in need. The gift of a smile and cheery word to someone who looks a little blue. The gift of a good deed, a thoughtful gesture or an unexpected card.

There are gifts all around us. Our family, our friends, our homes that shelter us from the elements.

I do my best to appreciate all that I have been given and to do my best to give back, in kind. Every single day of the year.

So during this festive season, when it is tradition to exchange gifts and greetings I panic.

How do you find the gift that says all that you want to say? The more special the person, the harder it is.

So, to those who are special to me ... I apologize. I simply couldn't come up with the gift that says all I want to say. So I hope that I communicate it well throughout the year.

It is not the gifts one receives on a specific day that matters. It is the gifts that we give and receive every day of our lives.

"To whom much is given, much is expected."

I have been given so very much. I will spend my life time trying to find a way to return the favor.

Little Things

When there appeared to be daylight peeking in, through the closed blinds early this morning, I knew it could mean only one thing. Snow.

Yes, I had some shovelling to do this morning (nothing compared to what many parts of our continent are facing, so I'm not complaining). It was still snowing as I shovelled, so the job isn't over yet ...

I have had my fair share of walking to do in the winter time ... the year we were without a car; the years that I tromped through the snow with kids in a stroller and at my side as we walked to and from school; and the winter that I had a paper route.

Due to my experience with walking in the snow, I like to shovel all of the walks that surround me. I often shovel in front of my neighbor's houses and the walkway that runs beside my yard. I'm of the thinking that maybe these people will pay it forward and help keep their neighbor's walks clean as well. Anything to make the lives of mail, paper carriers and anyone else that must walk throughout the winter a little less cumbersome.

I've done this for years. Every time, thinking of the years that I waded through snow drifts and hoping that I was making some one's walk just a little easier.

This morning, as someone walked through the walkway adjacent to our yard they asked me if I was the one who kept the sidewalk clear. I admitted that I did my best ... and they thanked me.

Two words. What a difference it made, as I faced the task that was set out before me this morning.

It is the little things in life that really count.

School Break

Ahh ... the life of a student! My last day of school was Friday and I don't have to return until the New Year.

My last dance class was this past Thursday. Not quite the same feeling of relief, but there is something to be said for a few weeks without evening commitments.

Yesterday, I had a chance to revisit my 'old life'. My life of daycare and book keeping.

The daycare part of that equation has been severely down sized. I have one child to tend this week. One! My Youngest took him under his wing most of yesterday and I tended to other things.

I logged an 8 hour book keeping day. I finished making the infamous 'Wreath Cookies' (my most unfavorite Christmas task of all). I called a friend.

As the day wound down, Second Son returned from work and was content with what I had in mind for supper. Then my Firstborn stopped in to fix the downstairs computer (yes, we are very spoiled ... but my book keeping work monopolizes my need for the upstairs computer, so we are eternally grateful a second one) and stayed for a quick visit.

I was in perpetual motion all day. I went from one task to the next with ease. I accomplished everything I set out to do in the day. It's been a very long time since I've been able to write those words.

Second Son's decision to move in this past weekend put me into high gear. I had thought I would putter around and empty out that room during the Christmas holidays. Instead, I accomplished what had to be done, in an afternoon.

I have been wading through my days with a great deal of effort for the past long while. I am so grateful that I've moved into a higher gear.

Long term goals seem to encourage a lethargy within me. I need the adrenaline rush of a do-it-now task. I thrive on that feeling of accomplishment. And I haven't felt like I have accomplished half of what I have set out to do for a very long time.

I'm looking forward to this holiday. I am not quite certain what it holds in store but I know that I'm eager to wake up each morning and face the day.

It's nice to take a break from the rigors of school life ... so I can concentrate on other things. I was ready for this.