Closing my eyes and turning off the world has been a coping mechanism that I have been utilizing a lot lately. I can fall asleep the moment I sit still at the best of times, but it has been different lately.
I have felt physically exhausted but I know that I am not. I have been emotionally spent. There is a difference.
Sunday nights have been the worst. Going to bed, knowing that I have five more days to endure before I get those cherished two days off. I have no memory of this level of anxiety about going to school as a child (and I had a lot of anxiety back then).
This past Sunday night was different.
My heart wasn't racing. I didn't feel the grip of anxiousness. In fact, I woke up at (my usual) 4:00 a.m. and thought (for the first time all night/morning) "Holy crap! It's Monday!!" ... and I hadn't lost a wink of sleep because of it.
I went to work yesterday and had a decent day.
I went to sleep last night ... and didn't wake up until the alarm went off this morning. I slept through the night! I cannot remember the last time I slept so soundly.
Something has changed. The tides have turned.
There has been no lack of sleep in my life lately. Sleep riddled with restlessness, anxiousness and the feeling of a fist in my chest.
Sleeping soundly is a sign that I'm through the worst of it. Armed with a good night's sleep, I am ready to take on my world once again.