I get up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. I keep telling myself that I need that quiet time in the morning to think. To process. To ready my head for the day. To write. I keep running out of time.
I used to wake up in the morning with a head full of thoughts that rose to the surface over night. This morning I woke up with a hangover of the nightmare kind. Did you ever have one of those dreams when 'your worst nightmare' walked in the door (literally, in my dream) and all you had to do was force your eyes open?
I think it took every muscle in my body to override the paralysis in my eyelids to pull myself out of my dream-coma. I woke up with my heart pounding and that vision in my mind for minutes. I rolled over and turned on the TV. My heart kept pounding but it took a little longer to get that vision out of my mind.
I didn't have to get up for two and a half more hours. So I rolled over and fell back to sleep.
I wasn't ready to wake up and face this day. So I stayed in bed and watched more TV. Television numbs my brain.
Presently, I am still feeling the effects of my nightmare which has been numbed by a dose of television watching.
I am going through the paces of readying myself for the day ahead but I just want to crawl back into bed and throw the covers over my head.
The weekend is coming. The weekend is coming. And I'm not ready for it! I have a work-packed weekend followed by a week-with-commitments. Which will be followed by another weekend which is already booked up.
Friday has become the new Monday for me. I just have to get through the weekend and it will be okay. I will be back in the routine that is my life. I will earn my living from my home. It will all be okay in the end.
These early morning thoughts are not what I had hoped they would be. Maybe I have become a night-writer. I may have to try that on for size and start exercising in the morning instead ...