Coming of Age

If people didn't talk about this, I wouldn't even recognize it was happening to me.

We live in an information laden society. Google supplies answers to every little query on your mind. Even my mom calls and asks me to Google something for her from time to time. It brings a smile to my lips every time I hear Mom utter the words, "Can you Google ____  for me?"

Television talk shows, news magazine types of shows, specialized channels for everything you could imagine quench our thirst for that which amuses, teaches and entertains us.

Information, information, information. In this day and age it seems that we are surprised by less and in-the-know more often.

Until it happens to us me. Personally.

I've never considered myself to be one to be one of the pack when it comes to anything 'hormonal'. Perhaps those who live with me and know me better than I know myself would beg to differ with me on that topic. But on the whole, the whole balance/imbalance of hormones has not been debilitating for me. As an after thought, I have realized that I have not been immune to that-which-I-hear-others-talking-about. But on the whole I feel like I'm (sort of) in control of my emotions and reactions (three weeks out of four, anyway).

A while ago I was fighting a black cloud that seemed to penetrate my life. It wouldn't rain or storm or release itself in any way. It simply hovered over me and threatened to draw me in. It wasn't a fun place to be and I was becoming disheartened and discouraged by the fact that I couldn't fight this thing. It felt bigger then me.

Then I read up on menopause and all that precedes it. It turned out that my cloud was (most likely) filled with hormones fighting up a storm. The moment that I let it be 'all about the hormones' and less about my 'inability to cope', a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It explained sooooo many things.

I recognized it and let it go. I didn't forget it. I tucked that bit of knowledge into my back pocket and carried on.

Then ... someone started jacking up the heat in the middle of the night on me some time last week.

The outside temperatures are dipping and I was wondering why in the world it was getting so warm that even a sheet was too hot while the thermostat stated it was cooler than I knew it was.

Another time, I was simply standing still. Suddenly someone was playing with the thermostat on me again. "Do you feel hot?" I asked My Son. Nope. It was just me. Again.

I didn't start catching on until these little warm spells came and went a few times. No. Not hot flashes. Warm spells.

If I didn't know better, I would think that our thermostat is broken. Thank goodness for Google. It is saving me a small fortune in therapist and furnace repair fees ...

I guess I am coming of age after all. I sort of thought I was invincible. Thanks a lot, Google. You have taught me otherwise.