As I sit here and stare at this empty
The week has felt very occupied. Last week, I felt like I was walking through sludge as I tended to this, that and the other thing at each day's end. I felt very light and easy walking into this week. A new computer on the horizon and no errands to run.
The new computer altered our universe just a bit. My Son has been on our new computer most of his waking hours. I know that he would gladly step away if I asked him to, but I haven't had the need (or desire) to ask because it seems that my evenings have been taken up. With conversation.
I have had long and meaningful conversations, light and easy coffee talk and a small handful of "I need to talk to you about this" chats, four out of four evenings. It was good. It was all good. But I am simply starting to feel a little tapped out.
Today is my last Daycare Day before my holidays. If you would have asked me five days ago if I needed a holiday, I would have said "No". Ask me that very same question today (and most every day this week) and I would say "I can't wait".
The first four days of this holiday are mine. I didn't think that I would need to do it, but now that this day has come, I do believe that I am going to recreate my Holiday Oasis from last year. My room-with-a-door shall become my writing room. Me, my little netbook computer, a radio and an endless supply of coffee are going to move right into that room and we are going to have one heck of a party-for-one.
I feel like I need a drastic 'disconnect' from the world and I simply want to lose myself in my family book project. That is all that I plan to do with those first four days.
The fifth day is a day of many things. Between my son and me, we have five different appointments that day; we must find our way downtown so that my son can apply for a SIN number; my mom will be arriving that night and I must be packed up and ready to leave the next day.
The next four days will be a family reunion with our (Mom & Dad's) family. It will be fun. It will be memorable. It will be full. I can hear the laughter and feel the contentment of being surrounded by family already. It will be good.
Then I must put in two bookkeeping work-days. A working 'weekend' within my holiday may feel like just the break that I need. Who knows? I do know that I have had (almost) a month's reprieve from my bookkeeping responsibilities and that month has relieved so much pressure. It has given me the time, energy and motivation to make some headway on my book project. So two days, in the middle of my holiday is not such a sacrifice.
That leaves six days left over at the end. I have offered to drive my mom back home after my bookkeeping 'weekend'. I will stay for a few days and visit friends while I am there. It will be very relaxing and fulfilling. It will feel just right, at that point of my holiday.
That leaves a few days left over at the end for My Son. I hope that we can do something together that has the essence of 'holiday'. We cannot put our fingers on exactly what that may be right now, but we are thinking about it. Perhaps it is best to be surprised.
My holiday has not yet begun and I am already feeling tired. It will be a good mix of this, that and the other thing, tossed into a jar with another mixture of 'the same', but different. I do believe that it is a very good recipe for success. If nothing else, it will tire me out so much that I will appreciate going back to work at the end of it all...