Fulfillment

"I'm drinking from my saucer ... 'cause my cup has overflowed"

This no-stress life is really agreeing with me. I can tell my contentment levels are full to the brim in every action and feeling that I have.

My relationship with food is directly affected by what is going on in my world. I have used food as a substitute for almost everything and anything. These past few weeks, food has not been used in any capacity to console or fulfill me. Food fills me up, but only in the physical sense. 'The budget' has lessened the temptation to snack. But the 'full' feeling inside of me has taken away the urge to snack.

Sleep is another thing that is directly affected by my stress levels. If too much is going on in my mind, I don't sleep well at night and I can fall asleep as soon as I sit still, during the day. It seems that sleep has little to do with tiredness and a lot to do with 'escape'.

The never ending to-do lists in my mind motivate me. But I also become very obsessive. In my daycare-world, I have a schedule that I follow. It serves me well and the kids know what to expect in a day. And when I waiver from it in my regularly scheduled daycare life, it never fails. It throws the day off track and it takes a while to regain lost ground. These past few weeks (of having only a few children to tend and less coming and going) have been amazing. We have not followed that schedule religiously ... and we have survived. In fact, there has been a calmness to the day that has been enjoyable. I haven't done my 'Friday chores' in two weeks. Instead, I've been cleaning on a need-to-do basis. And it gets done.

Not working on Saturdays has been the best medicine of all. That second day off relieves so much pressure during the week. Normally, I place a lot of pressure on myself to tend to all of my work and errands because I can count my weekend in hours instead of days. This obsessiveness that I have throughout the week has a lot to do with having a 40 hour 'weekend'. The complete and utter freedom that I feel when I wake up on a Saturday morning and know that I have one more day off that follows it is amazing. I wake up with a happy heart. Contentment.

Taking away some of the needless pressures in my life has filled something deep inside of me. Some deadlines and pressures are needed to get that feeling of accomplishment. But letting my world be ruled by these lists that I have in my mind, isn't necessarily the best way to go about it.

I love to accomplish 'impossible things'. I love the feeling of accomplishing a lot with my day. But it is a very wonderful thing to take away the outside pressures of the world and start from within.

I believe that world peace starts with one person. Yourself. If every single person in the world woke up with the feelings that I have been feeling these past few weeks, the change would be incredible. We are only in control of one person. Ourselves. I feel that this contentment is touching other lives. I can't control how others act and feel ... but by placing my best self out there, it certainly can't hurt.

One person at a time. If I could give just one gift, it would be to bottle up the recipe for this fulfillment and share it with the world (and I'd like the recipe myself, for when this feeling starts to wane as my regular life starts to work its way back into my days).