Calmness Within

I am sitting in the living room, surrounded by 6 kids of varying ages. The noise level is medium/high but no one is arguing, tattling or crying so the noise is just a backdrop to the day. I have 2 kids in diapers, one with an eternal running nose, half of them have a very loud decibel 'normal indoor voice', there have been some adjustments to my daycare schedule, one family paid me a week late and ... I am calm.

I returned to my daycare load after my summer holidays and I was a grouch. I got back to my full load of kids after my surgery and I had less than zero tolerance. It took months to regain the preholiday and presurgery equilibrium in my life. Was I a little nervous about taking back my regular life full of kids after my Christmas holidays?? You betcha!

But it has been marvelous. I have more patience and tolerance within me than I've had for a very long time. The days have been going great. Kids are kids, but I'm not over the top with frustration as they go about their daily antics and pushing limits.

What is the difference?

Could it be the 5 days that I stepped away from each and every responsibility in my life?? Absolutely NO kids ... not even my own (even my adult children) and no cat to tend. No computer, no phone, no emailing and no blogging. No budgeting, no balancing my books, no concern over money what so ever (I took cash, spent cash and came home with money left over). No snow to shovel, no mail to sort, no house to tend. No strict agenda to my days beyond waking up, dressing, eating a few meals and collecting memories. Memories of my dad's family that are fueling a great amount of excitement within me. Adult-only time. Time with my mom, my uncle, my cousin and their extended adult and pet families. No kids.

Picking up and flying off into the sunrise was an adventure and therapy for my soul. It was hard and a little bit scary to step so completely away from each and every responsibility in my life. But it has fueled something within me that hasn't been full for a very long time.

There is a calmness within my very being. And the people around me are reaping the rewards as my reactions to 'life as I know it' are going with the flow.