S.A.D.D.

I am Seriously Affected by these Dark Days. There is not enough sun around here lately. It is upsetting the precarious balance that is My Life.

It feels like the middle of January inside of me. My alarm wakes me up to pitch blackness. So I don't get up. I lie there wishing (and waiting) for the light. The sun is setting before I've had a chance to enjoy a few kidless-hours. The days are getting far too short far too soon.

I'm tired of being tired. Last night I went to bed at 9:00. I was exhausted but I was hopeful that I could stay awake to simply savor the quiet, solitude and my favorite feather pillow. I did not fortify my waking hours with ju-jubes this time (my stomach still does a quiet little roll as I think of my ju-jube hangover yesterday morning). I simply laid my head on my pillow and savored my waking moments.  For oh, about 90 seconds.

My goal was to get up with my alarm this morning. I couldn't do it. But I did better than I did the first two days of this week. I gained a half hour this morning. But it wasn't enough to write a few words before the day came crashing in.

The sun is shining, the weather couldn't be more perfect and we are getting outside every day for several hours on end.

So why does it feel like January inside my sun-deprived head??

I'm not loving the idea of fall this year. I don't know why. Fall has always signified new beginnings for me in the past...